Six Feet Under

Before you pop a gasket or send me a gazillion messages telling me I shouldn't be thinking or writing about death or dying, let me assure you that I'm not planning on kicking the bucket anytime soon. The truth, however, is that from the minute we draw our first breath we begin the process of dying. There's no sense in trying to deny that truth or dance around it or fluff it up because there's nothing you or I can do to alter the reality that when we are born, the clock of our lives begins its ultimate countdown. And while many of you may think that's a negative or morbid way to view life, I would argue that it's just the opposite ... or it should be anyway. If I view my life in the context of a clock ticking constantly away toward my eventual demise, logic and reason would dictate that I'd pack as much living as I possibly could into every single one of those moments. In fact, perhaps I'd be much happier if I really did look at life exactly that way ... if I focused more on the countdown to the end, maybe I'd do a whole lot better job of living in the here and now.

My guess is that many of you don't know that tomorrow is World Suicide Prevention Day ... I had no idea there even was a World Suicide Prevention Day until after February 4, 2012. And I'm ashamed to say that I didn't know not only because I've had friends and family who have struggled with suicidal thoughts, but because some of my friends and family have actually lost someone they loved through suicide. It wasn't until I was there myself ... it wasn't until after I came within minutes of committing suicide myself that I learned about the significance and the importance of tomorrow. The theme for this year's World Suicide Prevention Day is "Preventing Suicide: Reaching Out and Saving Lives" ... encouraging all of us to consider the role that offering support may play in preventing suicide. I love the following words from the WSPD website ...

"The act of showing care and concern to someone who may be vulnerable to suicide can be a game-changer. Asking them whether they are OK, listening to what they have to say in a non-judgmental way, and letting them know you care, can all have a significant impact. Isolation increases the risk of suicide, and, conversely, having strong social connections is protective against it, so being there for someone who has become disconnected can be life-saving."

I love those words because I know firsthand how very true they are ... you better believe I know how true those words are. Far and away the major theme in many of the emails I receive on the subject of suicide is that of feeling that no one cares ... that no one would miss them if they died ... that those whom they love and care about would actually be better off without them. I know firsthand how very true those words are because I know I have to make a conscious effort every day not to be consumed by feelings of being alone, unworthy and invisible ... feelings of no one would notice if I disappeared ... feelings of being a burden on those whom I love. I can't stress to you enough how very important it is to put arms and legs on the words "I care" ... you can't just say you care, friends, you have to show you care in real and tangible ways.

After my mom passed away, I bought a cemetery plot close to where Mom, Dad and my brother Jerry are buried back in Tennessee, thinking that was the most logical place for me to be buried someday. I've since decided, however, that I want to be cremated instead and so I'm going to try to sell my plot ... I like the idea of having my ashes sprinkled on a mountaintop somewhere way better than being buried six feet under the ground. Six feet under ... six feet under the ground ... six feet under. It's estimated that more than 800,000 people die by suicide each year, but most experts believe the number is actually much higher due to the stigma associated with suicide leading to inaccurate reporting and documentation. Think about that for a minute ... think about it and let it sink deeply into your mind and your heart and your soul, and then read these words again ... 

"The act of showing care and concern to someone who may be vulnerable to suicide can be a game-changer. Asking them whether they are OK, listening to what they have to say in a non-judgmental way, and letting them know you care, can all have a significant impact. Isolation increases the risk of suicide, and, conversely, having strong social connections is protective against it, so being there for someone who has become disconnected can be life-saving."

Be that game-changer, friends ... ask if she's OK and then listen with your heart ... invite him to dinner and then don't take no for an answer ... tell them you care and then do the things that show you really do. See here's the thing ... every single one of us needs to know we matter. It's not just the people who are in the midst of struggling with whether to live or die who need to know they matter or that someone cares or that they are loved or that they are appreciated ... we all not only need to know those things, each one of us possesses within us a deep longing to know those things.

Hmmm ... I can't help but wonder ... maybe if I thought more about the countdown to the end of my life ... maybe if I thought more about the countdown to the lives of the people around me ... maybe I would do a much better job of making sure people know they matter ... maybe I would do a much better job of caring about others ... maybe I would do a much better job of loving those around me ... maybe I would do a much better job of showing my appreciation to my fellow man. Maybe if I thought more about being six feet under ... maybe I would do a much better job of living.

Six feet under ... step up and step in, friends ... if you wait until someone is six feet under ... well ... then you've waited too long ... then you've waited far, far too long. Six feet under ... think about it ... step up ... step in ... be someone's game-changer.