Roots and Wings

I can close my eyes and see him standing on the wide sloping driveway in front of the house where I grew up ... his ever-present hat pulled low to cover the tears that welled in his eyes. It was the day my little family was leaving to move to south Florida, and it was one of the toughest days of my life. I think it was in that moment as I stood on the driveway trying to say goodbye to my dad that I truly understood how very much he loved me. Daddy was already in the early stages of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases as he tottered outside to the driveway to tell me goodbye. His wispy gray hair waved in the breeze, and I could tell he was a bit confused by all the emotion of the moment. For a brief second, I wondered if he could fully comprehend what was happening ... if he really knew that his baby girl was moving several hundred miles away from home. But then my sweet dad said something to me that made me realize that he indeed understood what was happening ... he said something to me I will never ever forget. 

"Sam," he said as his dark brown eyes gazed deeply into my vivid blue ones. "Sam, don't forget where you came from and remember you can always come home again if you need to." Tears streamed down my face as he wrapped his trembling arms around me and whispered into my ear, "You remember that, Sam ... remember where you came from and remember you always have somewhere to come home to."

I said that moment was when I truly understood how very much my dad loved me, but that's not completely true ... it was actually many years later when I truly understood the depth and scope of my father's love for me. It wasn't until I was standing in a frozen yogurt shop in Lawrence, Kansas, saying goodbye to my oldest son the day before he moved to Canada ... that's the real moment I truly understood how much Daddy loved me ... that's the moment I truly knew the pain he carried in his heart the day he said goodbye to me.

My son Brad has been working in Maine for the last couple of months on what he originally thought was just a temporary contract job for a film production company who works with a couple of well-known television channels. It turns out that my boy wowed them with his skill and expertise in filming and editing, and last week the company asked him to stay ... in Maine ... the company asked my son to move to Maine. So ... Brad will be coming back to KC in the next week or so to pick up his dog, his stuff and his girlfriend Shelby, and heading out to Maine to begin a new chapter in his life. I'm so very proud of him, and I want nothing more than for him to be happy, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not sitting here typing with a big lump in my throat and more than a few tears in my eyes.

Daddy gave me roots and wings ... roots so that I would know where I came from and where I could come home to ... wings so that I could fly as high and as far as my dreams could take me. I can only hope and pray I've done the same for my three amazing children.

Remember where you came from, Brad ... remember that you always have somewhere to come home to ... remember how proud I am of you ... remember how very much I love you. To the moon and back, Bradley ... to the moon and back, always and forever, buddy ... always and forever.