Knee Pads Required

When my children and I moved into the house I currently live in ... almost 15 years ago, wow ... we had to do some major improvements. The entire house was blue, inside and out, including the carpet and fuzzy wallpaper. The youth group from my church joined us in painting the inside before I had new carpet installed, and oh what fun we had ... more like a party than a home repair project, and I'm certain that some of those kids got way more paint on each other than on the walls. After our new carpet was in place, I got the bright idea that the kids and I (translated Matt and I) could easily (key word easily) install Pergo flooring in the kitchen and entryway. It turned out to be a much more difficult and time-consuming process than I ever imagined, and I'm pretty sure that is the closest Matt has ever come to divorcing me as his mom.

One thing I distinctly remember from all those long hours of work is how badly my knees hurt as I knelt on the hard floor with Matt. And after the first couple of days, I went to Home Depot and made one of the smartest purchases I've ever made ... I bought knee pads for me and Matt. Now I would like to tell you that the knee pads made our floor replacement process smooth and easy from there on out, but that wouldn't be true. It was still a very difficult task, required a ton of time and involved more than a few arguments between Matt and I, but the cushioning and padding between our knees and the hard floor that the knee pads supplied certainly helped in the intense physical pain department.

Last night as I was sweeping up the fuzz from Julie and the little pieces of dirt that Ollie brings in with his paws, my mind, as it often does, went back to those hours I spent with Matt working on that floor. While we had more than our share of confrontations during that time, we also had some wonderful conversations, too, and now we both have memories from that experience that we will carry with us forever ... some good, some not so much. Often when Matt comes home, he'll mention the flooring process and say, "This floor looks pretty good, Mom, considering what we went through to install it. And it sure has held up well all these years."

I think I've spent more time on my knees in prayer in the last few months than I have in my whole life. Oh, I've prayed a lot down through the years, don't get me wrong ... but I mean I've spent more time literally on my knees in prayer than ever before. And sometimes, my knees hurt. And always, my heart hurts. I know that God is installing new flooring in my life, but the process of removing the old and replacing it with new is painful and arduous and long. One of my deepest prayers is that some day ... and if it could be sooner rather than later, I'd be good with that ... is that God will stand back and look at what He's done in me and say, "Looks pretty good, Terrie, considering what we went through to make you into the woman I want you to be. And My work in you ... you can trust and believe and know that it's going to hold up well for years to come."

I think it may be time to put on some knee pads ... the cushioning and soft padding of the people who love me to help cover and protect my knees as God works on me. It won't change the process or stop the work, but perhaps it could help to ease the pain and prevent the callouses that could so easily form in my heart. Maybe, God, maybe that's part of where You have me ... to make me wear the knee pads ... to make me wear the knee pads.