If I Could Choose

My niece and her husband own a successful restaurant in Chattanooga ... a place with great Southern-style cooking and an atmosphere that is homey and comfortable. There's even a train that runs on a track above the main dining area, and every single time I go home for a visit, I eat most of my meals at Country Place. In addition to managing the busy restaurant, Mike is also a part-time referee for high school basketball games ... not because he needs the money, but because he loves refereeing and loves the kids. I've often thought that being a ref for any sport would be a hard job, perhaps because I so often question myself these days when it comes to making choices and decisions. To have to make all those quick calls in a game and then to handle people being upset if they didn't agree with your decision ... too much stress for me for sure.

I've been thinking a lot lately about decisions and choices, and I can't help but wonder how many decisions I've made in my 51 plus years of life ... some good, some not so much. Perhaps part of the reason the whole decision-making idea is on my mind is because today would have been my 30th wedding anniversary. Most years since my divorce, today just slips by as any other day, but this year, it seems to have some deep meaning for some reason ... nothing I can put my finger on, but it's sure made me think about choices I've made and decisions I've come to over the years.

This morning I was awakened by the sounds of a thunderstorm ... fierce winds and loud thunder accompanied by flashes of lightning and torrential rain. Julie and Ollie were snuggled in next to me sleeping soundly, Julie's head and front paws across my feet and Ollie's furry little head underneath my pillow. Those of you who frequent this blog know that I don't care much for storms, and as the winds howled this morning, I found myself thinking that if I could choose, there would never be another thunderstorm ... in the mornings or any other time. And that one thought started my mind tumbling down the path of a plethora of "If I could choose" avenues.

If I could choose, I would live half of the year on the beach and the other half in the mountains. If I could choose, I would be a writer. If I could choose, no one would ever harm an innocent child or a helpless animal. If I could choose, not one person would ever be hungry or cold or lonely or hurt. If I could choose, I would be happy. If I could choose, all people would be loved and accepted and cherished. If I could choose, I wouldn't have diabetes and I would eat ice cream six times a day. If I could choose, depression would never exist. If I could choose, I would follow my heart and love with true abandon. If I could choose, I wouldn't care about practicality or gas prices and I'd drive a Jeep Wrangler with the top down in the rain. If I could choose, those I love would stay forever.

The word stay in my litany of "If I could choose" thoughts gave me cause to step from that path and wander for a bit down a side trail... the trail of eternity, and I quietly recognized that none of us can choose to avoid passing from this earthly life to the eternal. A person may choose to leave this life, but one can never choose to stay here forever. As the storm outside began to grow quiet, so did the "If I could choose" thoughts that had raced through my mind only seconds before as I realized that I've already made the most important choice of my life ... the choice to follow Christ.