And Then There Were Three

My whole life I've heard people talk about women's intuition ... you know, the way women just seem to "know" certain things or pick up on certain emotions or anticipate certain events. And honestly, I've always believed that the concept of women having an innate sense of what's happening in the world around them is true, and especially so in regard to the mother and child relationship. Those of you who are moms know what I'm talking about ... the times that a mom knows that her children are in trouble or that something great has happened to them or that they need to talk ... a mom somehow knows what's going on with her kiddos. Well, at least I used to be that kind of mom ... the events of the last few days, however, say that I've lost my touch in regard to reading my children.

Our family gathering on Saturday evening was organized by Matt and Becca, most definitely the two planners in the family. I'm quite certain that I've written before about Matt's penchant for organization dating all the way back to his color-coordinated drawer arrangement of his tube socks or his alphabetization of the foods in my pantry. So I wasn't at all surprised when Matt and Becca began to coordinate our dinner get-together a couple of weeks in advance, thinking that they wanted us to meet Brad's new girlfriend Shelby (whom we did, by the way, and she is a lovely and charming young lady). It was the first time we had been together as a family since Meghann and Barrett's wedding a little over a month ago, and, as I'm sure you know, weddings don't lend themselves very well to laid-back, easy-going times of talking and visiting.

We had barely settled in at the table when Matt, smiling broadly with his crystal clear blue eyes dancing with glee, leaned forward and said, "We wanted all of us to get together tonight because Becca and I have something to tell you, and we wanted to tell you all together at once." As I placed my hand over my mouth and my eyes filled with tears, I looked from Matt to Becca who was grinning from ear to ear. I heard Matt say, "We're going to have a baby!" as Becca reached into her purse to retrieve the photos from their first sonogram. My hands were trembling as I took the photos from Becca's outstretched hand ... I sat at the table in the restaurant and bawled as I looked at the first pictures of my future grandchild. Technology has certainly come a long way since I was pregnant with my three kiddos ... I could see my grandbaby's nose and lips and face, and I could even see the fingers on its little hand as she (Matt is convinced that the baby is a girl) attempted to suck her tiny thumb.

So here's the thing ... I had no clue, no idea, no hint, no feeling that my son and his sweet wife were even thinking about starting a family. And here's the other thing ... they found out they were pregnant the day before Meghann and Barrett's wedding and managed to keep it a secret the entire time they were here because they didn't want to take away from their wedding day. And here's one more thing ... I'm going to be a grandma ... I so didn't see that one coming.

It's no secret to those of you who read this blog on a regular basis that the last year has been tough for me; depression combined with the daily grind of diabetes has quite literally sucked the life out of me. The last month or so has been especially hard ... and before you ask, I don't know why, it just has. I do know that I've grown weary of battling each day against the overwhelming sadness that continues to permeate my heart and soul and mind. And now ... now there's a baby coming ... now I'm going to be a grandma. A friend told me when I told her about Matt and Becca's news ... "So it seems to me that God has given you a pretty giant reason to hang on and keep fighting, Terrie ... a giant little reason."

I'm going to be a grandma ... my kid is having a kid of his own ... I so totally did not see that one coming ... wow, God ... wow.