Growing Pains

I distinctly remember the feeling of growing pains in my legs when I was young ... the throbbing, intense pain in my calves would often wake me in the night and I would walk around my room trying to ease the ache. All three of my children experienced growing pains as well, but my sons never hurt the way that my daughter Meghann did. Many, many nights, she would wake me crying and begging me to help her, and I would stumble out of bed, give her a dose of Tylenol, put the heating pad on her legs, and lay in her bed with her until she eventually went back to sleep. For all the times that Meg would plead with me to make the pain stop, not once did she ever ask me to make her stop growing ... not once did she say, "I don't want to grow anymore, Mom ... I want to stay the size I am."

This morning at church, the pastor spoke about growth and three key areas that are needed to grow effectively as a Christian ... Bible study, discipleship and prayer. While each of his points were well presented, and the sermon thought-provoking and real, one statement he made at the beginning of his message struck me in a big way. He said that growth is painful ... that we don't pray that God would stop us from growing but that we pray that He would see us through the pain that comes with growth. And he used an example that also stuck with me ... microwave popcorn. He talked about how the first 30 seconds to one minute, nothing happens to the popcorn and you may think there's something wrong with the bag. Then one kernel pops, then several, and then all the kernels seem to pop at once. It simply takes time for the popcorn to pop completely ... and it takes time for growth as well.

Sometimes I wonder at the path God currently has me traveling, and more than once I've pleaded with Him to see me through the pain. More than once I've cried out to Him that I don't understand why this season of life has to be part of Him growing me. More than once I've felt His arms wrapped around me as I cried myself to sleep. More than once I've thought there must be something wrong with me ... and it hit me this morning in church ... I'm the popcorn in God's microwave ... eventually, the heat of the oven is going to cause me to grow. Growth is painful, and I think maybe the secret to growing up is holding on ... waiting ... being faithful ... trusting in God's plan.

Today was the first Sunday I've been to my church in a couple of weeks, and it always amazes me how it seems that when I'm there, God has something He wants me to hear ... some lesson He wants me to learn or some truth He wants to reinforce in my heart. A week or so ago, I stumbled on a couple of verses in Job that jumped off the page when I read them, and they've been on my mind ever since. "Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him." Job 13: 14-15. All week, I've been rolling those words around in my head trying to understand what God was saying to me ... why He led me to those particular verses at this particular time. And then the sermon this morning ... growth is painful ... there are days when I feel as though I can't go on for one more moment. And the truth is that I can't ... on my own, I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands. It's only when I can say, "Though He slay me" ... slay my pride, slay my stubborn will, slay my emotions, slay my strength, even slay my physical being ... only when I can say, "yet will I hope in Him" ... only then will I truly grow.

Growth is painful, Lord, and sometimes the legs of my heart ache so badly ... help me to put my life in Your hands and not my own ... help me to proclaim that though You slay me, Father God, yet will I hope in You.