Please Forgive Me

Last night it was actually cool enough that I went for a walk outside, and I took Ollie the wiener dog with me. I've written before about how my newest dog friend knows no strangers. After being cooped up in the house for the last two weeks because of the heat, he had to greet every single person he saw as we made our way along the trail. But there was one group of folks in particular that Ollie seemed unusually drawn to ... a young mother surrounded by her three blond-haired, blue-eyed children.

The kids were quite taken with Ollie, so the young woman and her children walked with Ollie and me for a while. When I told the gal that I had three kiddos who are close in age like hers, she asked me a question that made me laugh out loud. "Did your children argue and bicker when they were young?" When I replied that they still argue and bicker from time to time, she asked me how I handled those sibling battles when they were young. I shared a couple of funny "fight" stories about my kids, and as we reached the place where she said they needed to turn to go home, I said, "You know, in the end, it's all about forgiveness ... about being able to ask for it, able to extend it and able to receive it ... it's really all about forgiveness."

Forgiveness, I thought as Ollie and I said goodbye to the little family and continued on down the trail ... forgiveness really is what it's all about. Ultimately, it's the forgiveness of my sins by my Father in heaven that is the most important piece of forgiveness, but lately I've been heavily burdened with the need to extend forgiveness to others and to also ask for forgiveness for wrongs I have done. I have a burning desire to make things right with anyone whom I've hurt or offended or slighted in any way. I want to be certain that my heart and soul are right with my Lord first and foremost, but also that I have a clear and clean peace about my earthly relationships as well. I've never felt the way I do ... oh, I think for the most part, I've tried to make amends with others when I was wrong, but this is different ... it's as if I am driven to have there be no ill will or hard feelings between me and other people. Perhaps my awareness of the brevity of this life has given me pause to consider things in a much deeper manner than I ever have before; perhaps God is refining me in preparation for eternity. At times it almost feels as though He is scrubbing my heart and soul and mind with a Brillo pad ... that He's trying to get rid of all the grit, all the baked-on hurt and pain and unkind words or thoughts, all the dirt that has ground its way into my life over the years.

Tears filled my eyes as I walked ... forgiveness ... forgiveness ... please forgive me, Lord ... please forgive me. Before Ollie and I ventured out on our walk, I had set my iPod to the shuffle function which means that it randomly selects songs to play from all the music files on it. I almost came out of my skin when the song "Please Forgive Me" began to play ... I'm telling you, friends ... God lives and walks and breathes and speaks to me out on my beloved trail. I wept all the way home, overwhelmed with the knowledge that God made the way for my forgiveness through the sacrifice of His only Son ... overwhelmed with the knowledge of how deeply God desires that I long for His forgiveness ... overwhelmed with the knowledge that He urges me to seek forgiveness from my fellow man ... overwhelmed with the knowledge that His Word demands that I graciously extend forgiveness to others.

Please forgive me, Father God, for all the times I fail You ... for all the times You call me and I don't listen ... for all the times my heart is filled with stubborn will and pride. Please forgive me for those I wound ... for those I abandon ... for those I disappoint. I need Your grace and mercy, Lord ... please forgive me. 

"My sleep is gone, my heart is full of sorrow

I can't believe how much I've let You down.
I dread the pain that waits for me tomorrow
When the sun reveals my broken dreams scattered on the ground.

Please forgive me
I need Your grace to make it through.
All I have is you, I'm at Your mercy.
Lord, I'll serve You
Until my dying day.
Help others find the way
At Your mercy, please forgive me.

I can't believe the God of earth and glory
Would take the time to care for one like me
But I read in the Bible that old story
How he pled for my forgiveness while he was dying on a tree.

Please forgive me
I need Your grace to make it through.
All I have is you, I'm at Your mercy.
Lord, I'll serve You
Until my dying day.
Help others find the way
At Your mercy, please forgive me."