I'm sure that most of you could agree with me that there are certain events from your childhood or youth that you never forget. Events that shape and mold the person you eventually become, events that are often painful when they occur, events that forever change the way you view life. I've had several of those events, but one in particular has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not going to share all the details, but suffice it to say that I was a total jerk to a dear friend over a boy when we were teenagers ... I wanted to be his girlfriend, he dated her instead, and I was ticked off in a big way. We didn't speak for lots and lots and lots of years, and when we finally did, I uttered the apology that I should have spoken many years sooner. I was sure that she wouldn't want to talk to me, and honestly, that would have been exactly what I deserved because of the way I behaved so long ago. But instead, she was gracious and free in her forgiveness, even though my sins from years gone by were monumental in size and scope.
Perhaps the reason that event from my past has been on my mind ... actually, it's the forgiveness part of that event that's been on my mind so much ... is because I've recently had several conversations with a woman who accepted Christ not too long ago, a woman who has lived a pretty rough life for the last 50 years, a woman who thought for many years that God could never forgive her, a woman who has wrestled and wrestled with accepting who she is and who God created her to be. She said some things to me last week that have been on my mind ever since, some things that have made me think deeply about my own attitude toward others. And as she spoke the following words, she wept ... she wept and so did I.
"I wonder about people who've always lived a pretty clean life ... I wonder how they can really get it when it comes to how great God's forgiveness is. It's those of us who have lived at the bottom of the barrel that when we are forgiven, we know ... we really know what forgiveness is. I think it's hard for people who think they are pretty good and holy not to look down on or judge somebody like me. But the truth is, Terrie, it's us who have been forgiven much that know how to forgive much in return. It's us people who've seen the bottom of the pit that understand forgiveness and how important it is to hold out your hand to them that's still in the pit. I've been to churches where I wasn't welcome because of who I am or who I used to be. I'm telling you ... it's us who've been forgiven much ... it's us who've been beat up and thrown away ... it's us who've been forgiven much who get it about forgiveness and loving each other."
When she finished talking, all I could do was sit at the table in the restaurant and sob. I had no recourse, no words of defense, nothing wise or holy to say. I sat at the table knowing that I, too, have been forgiven much, and yet I still sit in judgment over others at times. I sat at the table knowing that I, too, have experienced rejection, and yet I still turn my back on others I deem unworthy of my time or my attention. I sat at the table knowing that I, too, have seen the ugly bottom of the pit, and yet I still don't reach out my hand to others who are struggling to get out. I sat at the table humbled as the woman invited me to visit her church ... an inner city church far removed from my comfort zone, a church populated by those whom other churches have rejected or shunned.
I went to her church last Sunday morning, and I was overwhelmed by the people's obvious passion for the Lord. I went to her church last Sunday morning, and I was deeply moved by the people's obvious love for one another. I went to her church last Sunday morning, and I recognized the deep truth in her words ... "It's us who've been forgiven much ... it's us who've been beat up and thrown away ... it's us who've been forgiven much who get it about forgiveness and loving each other."
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." Luke 7:47
1 comment:
Boy is she ever right Terrie. I never knew so much about forgivness until I needed forgiven. Now I try so hard not to judge others but say, I wonder what broke down in their life to make them do that, because I know what broke down in my life that made me need forgiveness. If you haven't walked the walk, it is truly hard to totally understand it, although I think there are some Christians that do.
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