Pennies From Heaven

When I was a little kid, I looked forward to one certain card that would come in the mail every Christmas. It was the card my Granny always sent me ... a card with 100 shiny new pennies taped inside. Yes, I know that seems like nothing to most of you, just a dollar's worth of pennies. But that card meant the world to me when I was young. Granny always wrote a little note in the card, a note telling me how much she loved me and how important I was to her. I didn't feel very important when I was a kid; in fact, most of the time I felt like I was ugly and stupid and didn't have anything to offer to anyone. Those cards from Granny kept me going in many ways, I think ... and those pennies ... I'm convinced now that those pennies came straight from heaven and that my Granny was the vessel God chose to use to deliver those shiny new blessings to me every year.

Last night, I spent an hour or so talking with the sweet lady at the retirement home I've mentioned in previous posts ... the sweet lady who is 101 years old. We talked about a lot of things ... biscuits and gravy, riding motorcycles (she has, by the way, more than a few times and said she'd hop on one again if she had the chance!), snowy weather, being in love, jobs, churches, friends ... but it was the last two statements she made to me that were on my mind throughout the night, that kept me tossing and turning and not sleeping well, that I can't get out of my head this morning.

As I was getting ready to leave my sweet friend's room, she took my hand and asked me if I would pray with her before I left. Her hands are thin and I could feel her bones as she wrapped her precious hands around mine. And it was after I prayed that she gazed into my eyes and spoke the words that impacted me so much ... "You bless me when you come here to see me. I'm happy you are my new friend." I patted her frail hands and promised to come see her again as I hurried to get out of her room before my tears began to fall. By the time I made it to my car, I was sobbing, and I sat in the parking lot for a long time before I could finally see well enough to drive home.

So many, many days now I feel ... unnecessary, unwanted, unneeded, unloved. I feel like I am a burden to those who know me, a burden and certainly not a blessing. There are days when I struggle to just get through the day, to keep my head above the water that is raging around me. Days when I feel like I could just drift away and no one would notice or care that I was gone. And last night before I walked into the dear lady's room, those feelings were washing over me in a big way. And then ... then God sent me a card ... a card sealed with the words of a dear lady with thin, frail hands and a kind and gentle heart. God sent me a card filled with pennies from heaven, and He sent it through the lips of someone who has walked this earth for over a century.

You are the one who blesses me, sweet friend ... you are the one who blesses me.