Testing 1, 2, 3 ... Testing

One thing I learned early on when I started speaking at women's events was that not all microphones are created equal, and it didn't take me long at all to decide that I definitely like the cordless ones best. Well, I like them best when they work the way they are supposed to work, which unfortunately, they don't always do. And I must also say that one of my greatest fears when I speak has always been that I would forget to flip the switch into the off position on the cordless microphone when I go to the restroom ... don't laugh ... apparently that's a pretty common fear among public speakers. But back to microphones that don't always function the way they are built to function ... I've had them completely die in the middle of a session; I've gotten "buzzed" by one with electrical problems; I even had one of the old-fashioned corded ones that spontaneously broke into a million pieces while it was perched on a microphone stand. So now, when I travel to an event to speak, I always request that we do a microphone check before I step onto the stage. And every time we run through the check, I always say, "Testing 1, 2, 3 ... testing" until the sound people get all the levels correct and any issues worked out.

Last weekend while I was shopping in the after-Thanksgiving madness, I made a stop at a Hallmark store ... you know, Hallmark cards and really mushy TV commercials that make you cry ... that Hallmark store. I stopped there because a few days earlier, I had decided that I wanted to get a recordable storybook for my future granddaughter to have on her first Christmas next year since I won't be with her (Matt and Becca will be moving away when he completes his Ph.D. in May). And I had already decided that I would buy A Charlie Brown Christmas to record for her since Matt loves anything Charlie Brown ... in fact, the first gift he bought his future daughter was a stuffed Snoopy ... go ahead and say a collective "Oh, how sweet!" As I was looking at the Christmas books (which were on sale for half price), I decided to also purchase 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to record for little B.J. ... my mom used to read that story to my children when they were young ... I can still see her sitting on the couch with my three little ones around her as she read to them. Now get this ... I'm standing in line to pay for the books when my phone rings and I see that it's Matt. I answer and he says, "Hey, Mom, Bec and I were talking and we thought if you were going to get the baby a Christmas gift, you might want to get the recordable Charlie Brown Christmas since we may not be together next Christmas." Yep, you guessed it ... I stood in line at the Hallmark store bawling my eyes out.

So tonight was my fourth attempt to record the books for B.J. ... I can't get through them without tearing up, and the harder I try to pull myself together and read the story, the more the tears flow. Thankfully, Hallmark designed the books so that weepers like me get more than one chance to record the story. It struck me tonight as I gave up after my latest attempt to read the Charlie Brown book that there are some deep truths to be gleaned from the process of trying to record the stories for little B.J. I realized that my son recognizes that the chances are great that I will miss his daughter's first Christmas and that it is important to him that she will be able to hear her Granny read to her. I realized how important family is, how short life truly is, and how much I wish that I would have had the foresight to have recorded my mom reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to my kiddos. I realized that in many ways, my life is like a recordable book ... God gives me so many chances to get the story right ... no matter how many times I mess up, He erases my mistakes and allows me to try again and again and again.

My prayer tonight is that God would do a microphone check on me ... that He would test me, examine me, make me who He desires me to be. And while you do, Lord ... while you do, thank You for letting me start over ... to read the story again ... and again ... and again.

"Examine me, O Lord, and try me; test my mind and my heart." Psalm 26:2