Already There

My dad was one of the most patient men in the world, which struck me as pretty funny the older I got and began to fully grasp just how impatient my mom truly was. They were as opposite as day and night in so many ways, patience, or lack thereof, being just one of their dissimilarities. And yet, they were married for more than 50 years and had a deep, abiding love for one another. I remember a lot of things my dad said, but for the last few days, one phrase that Daddy often uttered has been pulsing through my mind ... a phrase that he spoke to me a lot, but one that he probably spoke to Mom a million times during the decades they were together.

Daddy didn't get in a hurry to do much of anything except when it was time to go to church ... man, that gives me pause to think deeply about how important meeting together with his fellow believers was to Daddy. When I was in a hurry to go somewhere or do something and I wasn't happy with Daddy's pace in getting where I wanted to go or doing what I wanted to do, I would whine and complain about his lack of hurry-up-ness. Daddy had a crazy sense of humor, and he delighted in teasing me, especially at times when he thought I was being ridiculously over the top in a hurry about something that more often than not was pretty trivial now that I look back on it. And that's when he would utter the phrase ... "If you're waiting on me, Sam, you're backing up."

It's been a long, long, long week ... I think I probably edited a gazillion words this week. It's been one of those weeks when every day that passed seemed more chaotic and out of control than the previous one. It's been one of those weeks when my brain and my body were screaming "Enough already!" ... on Monday afternoon. It's been one of those weeks when I would have given everything I owned to have someone other than my dogs to talk to when I went home. It's been one of those weeks ... period. But through all the stress of the week, I kept thinking about Daddy's words, "If you're waiting on me, Sam, you're backing up." I realized as I was driving home tonight that for all the times I heard Daddy say those words, I never got it ... I never understood the depth of meaning within what he was saying. Daddy was telling me that no matter where I was going, he was already there ahead of me ... especially during those times when I was trying my best to get him to hurry up and do things my way. As I pulled into my garage, my eyes filled with tears as I got it ... as I got the lesson God had been trying to teach me all week. The lesson that my Father is already there ahead of me ... no matter the chaos, no matter my attempt to do it my way, no matter me trying to hurry Him along ... He is already there ... He already knows my past, my present and my future ... He is most definitely already there.

"From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there."

-- Casting Crowns