Blind Love

Over the last 17 or so years since I got divorced, I've been asked one particular question more times than I can count ... "So, have you ever dated anyone since your divorce?" Depending on who's asking the question, sometimes I answer and sometimes I don't. To be honest, I've never understood why it is that people are so preoccupied with whether or not a person dates after he or she has been married and then divorced. My own personal experience has been that folks were way more concerned with my dating status when I was categorized as a divorced woman than they ever were when I was a single, never been married woman. Sorry, but I simply don't understand it ... I simply don't. But, in the spirit of being open, honest, real and transparent in my posts ... yes, I've dated a few times since my divorce ... a very few, but a few.

Several years after my divorce, I was introduced to a gentleman through a friend at work ... he was a friend of my co-worker's cousin. We emailed back and forth and spoke on the phone for several weeks and then eventually, he traveled to Kansas City for us to meet in person (he lived eight hours north of KC on a large farm in a very small town). He stayed in town for a couple of weeks (in a hotel, friends, in a hotel), and we never went on one date alone during that time. All of our outings and time spent together included my children ... which impressed the heck out of me that he enjoyed doing things with my kiddos ... and it didn't take long at all for my kids to inform me that they thought he was an awesome guy. He visited us several more times over the next year or so, and my children and I took a road trip to his town to meet his family and spend a few days on the farm. We dated long-distance for about a year and a half, and my kids were completely correct ... he was an awesome person. He was a compassionate, caring, loyal, trustworthy, family-oriented, Christian, hard-working man ... and he was blind. He would joke and say the only thing he couldn't do was drive a car, but that he would figure out how to one day. He asked me to marry him, several times, but obviously, I didn't. You see, even though he was a wonderful guy and I did love him, I loved him like a brother rather than a husband, and I knew in my heart that it would never work out between us. I know that I broke his heart, and to this day, I feel badly that I couldn't love him the way he loved me.

Since it's too hot outside to walk or ride my bike (at 11 p.m. last night, the temperature was still 98 hot and muggy degrees) and my treadmill is broken, I've been going to the mall to walk in the evenings after dinner. I had an appointment at 9 this morning to get my hair cut, so I decided after a long tossing and turning kind of night that I would go to the mall and walk before my appointment. Though all the stores are closed, the mall is open for walkers at 7 a.m. each morning, and there are generally quite a few folks hoofing it in the early morning hours. This morning, however, I walked almost all the way around the perimeter of the mall before I saw any other people ... two ladies walking slowly together, one tapping her long cane in front of her as she held the other gal's arm. It took me a moment to register that the lady with the cane was blind, perhaps because I was so focused on The Beach Boys music that was playing on my iPod. I smiled at the woman who was leading her friend, and much to my surprise, it was the blind lady who said, "Well, another person! Good Saturday morning to you!" I stopped dead in my tracks, and I'm quite certain that my shock registered on my face. "Good morning to you, ladies," I replied. "How are you both this morning?" The women stopped and chatted with me for a few minutes about the heat and how thankful they were to have a cool place to walk. They asked me if I always walked alone and if I would like to join them. I thanked them and said I had to get to an appointment and told them it was a pleasure to meet them. As I started to walk away, I turned and asked, "Are you girls sisters?" Yeah ... here's the thing ... those of you who are faithful readers of my journey know that I believe God often teaches me the biggest lessons through the seemingly small and most unremarkable situations, and in the ladies' answers to my question, He taught me a huge one this morning.

The lady who was blind spoke first ... "No, dear, we aren't sisters ... well, not by blood anyway. We are friends ... this wonderful woman is my sweet friend." The other gal chimed in and said, "That's right, we are friends by definition, I suppose, but we are sisters by heart. We are sisters in the Lord, and I count my friend here as one of His most lovely blessings in my life." Smiling from ear to ear, the precious lady with the cane reached toward me with her hand extended. As I placed my hand in hers, she said, "God is so good to me ... if it were not for Him bringing my sweet friend to me, I would never be able to leave my house. She picks me up and takes me to buy groceries and to church and to my doctor's appointments. She calls me just to say hi and check in on me. I've lived alone for the last 20 years since my husband passed away ... we were never able to have children, and my only brother died several years ago ... I have no living family members. Were it not for my friend here, I would be all alone and unable to leave my house. So yes, I guess we are sisters ... sisters in the way that matters most of all ... sisters brought together by a loving heavenly Father who watches over His children in ways we could never dream possible." My eyes filled with tears as she spoke, and I thanked the two ladies for stopping to talk to me ... those two precious gals had no idea how much they blessed me this morning. They had no idea what I was thinking as I walked alone to my car ... wow ... talk about a friendship that's true ... talk about being the hands and feet of Jesus ... the eyes of Jesus ... talk about love ... wow, God, wow.

All day, the women's words have pounded in my mind, and tears have filled my eyes over and over again as I've pondered the meaning within them. Every day for way more days than I want to number, I have warred with myself about leaving my house ... it's a constant battle for me ... a battle that is often only decided by my having no choice but to go to work or to the doctor or to purchase food. The dear woman this morning would probably pay a fortune to be able to get in a car and drive anywhere she wanted anytime she wanted ... to see a sunrise ... to see the twinkle in a child's eyes ... to see the colors of a rainbow ... she would probably give everything to be able to go and see and do. As I began to walk away, I saw the woman who could see place her hand on her friend's hand that was holding her arm. She patted her hand as she said, "The good Lord knows when we need another set of eyes to see for us, doesn't He? I've learned how to see Him better because of you ... I've learned how to see Him better because now I see Him through you." 

God is indeed so very good, friends ... He is so very, very good.