Calling All Walkers

This morning I went to church. The sanctuary was dark when I went in and sat on a back row. The sanctuary was dark when I left at the end of the final song. I was alone with my thoughts when the lights came up and the young minister began to preach. I couldn't help but think about how often I've heard the words, "You can be surrounded by people and still be alone." I listened as the young minister spoke about being a servant, and I listened as he spoke about being ready for Jesus to return. But I leaned forward in my chair and listened in amazement to the modern-day parable he related at the end of his sermon. A parable that was so close to some of the things my friend said to me yesterday that it gave me goosebumps as I listened. When God does things like that ... when He speaks so loudly to me through different avenues that it's impossible for me to ignore that it is Him ... when He does that, it gets my attention in a big way.

I've written a great deal in this blog about the isolation and loneliness of the last couple of years, which, according to my doctors, are textbook results of depression. I've gone from fighting against taking medications and fighting against going to the doctors to setting alarms on my watch so that I take my drugs on time and making the trek each week to the doctors without complaint ... OK, maybe I still complain a little about having to go, but at least I go. I sit patiently while a nurse sucks tubes of blood out of my hand, and I've learned to pee in a cup on command. I do my assigned homework, even when it's hard ... which brings me to the real reason for my post tonight.

For the last couple of months, the doctors have been talking to me about relationships ... well, more accurately, they've been talking to me about the lack of relationships in my life. And in those discussions, the following words of advice are almost always expressed by them. "God didn't create you to be alone, Terrie ... He created us as relational beings. You either need to try to rebuild and repair your previous relationships, or you need to establish new ones. It's going to be hard ... very hard ... but you need to take some steps forward, even if they are small steps ... you have so much to give, so much to share ... you need people, Terrie ... and people need you." So when I saw the doctor on Thursday morning, she gave me a homework assignment ... find one thing to look forward to, to be passionate about ... one thing that will show me that I may not be as alone as I feel. As she spoke, I instantly knew how I would like to complete that assignment ... and I instantly knew that I couldn't do it. That, friends ... the "I'd like to" vs. the "I can't" ... that war within me seems to never end now. But ... but ... but ... this time I've decided that if I don't at least try to honor my doctor's request, I'll never know if it could be the thing ... the one thing ... that turns everything around.

Not long after I was diagnosed with diabetes, someone sent me the link to the American Diabetes Association's website. There's a ton of great information contained on the site, but one thing in particular grabbed my attention ... every year, there are diabetes walks in cities all across the U.S., walks to raise awareness of the disease and to raise money for research to find a cure. So here it is ... this year the walk in Kansas City is on September 22, and I'd like to put together a team to walk with me. It's 3 miles along Brush Creek and through the Plaza, beginning at Theis Park. Check-in begins at 7:30 a.m., and the walk starts at 9:00. There's a health and wellness fair, and entertainment provided by Radio Disney. Here's the link that will give you all the information:  http://main.diabetes.org/site/TR/StepOut/A3KSC-MissouriKansasArea?fr_id=8395&pg=entry. If you'd like to walk with me, shoot me an email at terriejohnson401@hotmail.com or message me on Facebook ... it takes 10 people to form a team, and I'll pay the team entry fee. Since I work for an ad agency, I'm pretty sure I could even snag us some cool t-shirts to wear; in fact, if you want to walk, send me your idea for a team name when you email me. And if you know someone who might want to walk with us, feel free to forward this post.

See ... here's the thing ... I figure the worst thing that can happen is that I get no emails or messages, and I'll go walk alone. I'll still get a special red ball cap because I have diabetes ... the ADA calls people with diabetes who walk in the events Red Striders ... whether I have a team of 100 or it's just me, I still get the cap. Those of you who know me well know that I have a thing for ball caps ... a big enough thing that I'll walk 3 miles to get a free one. Seriously, though ... a nice walk through the Plaza on a fall day for a good cause sounds like a pretty decent way to spend a Saturday morning to me ... a pretty decent way indeed.