Thank God for Benedryl Cream

It wasn't until many years after I had moved away from my hometown in Tennessee that I learned I had spent the first 26 years of my life living in the allergy capital of the United States. The crazy thing about that is I never had allergies when I lived there or during my two-year stint in Florida either. No chronic ear infections ... no constantly plugged sinuses ... no never-ending itchy eyes and sore throat ... none of that when I lived right in the middle of pollen central. It wasn't until I moved to Kansas that I began having allergy issues ... not just in the springtime, by the way, because having aching ears, a snotty nose and red eyes just in the spring just isn't enough ... no ... I want to have all of those lovely symptoms in the fall as well. And the summer. And sometimes in the winter, too. Oh, well ... what fun would life be without a few challenges along the way, eh?

Over the last couple of weeks, my big dog Julie has been exhibiting some pretty significant signs of what appears to be anxiety ... so much so that I'm thinking she needs some doggie Xanax or a shot or two of Jack Daniels to help her chill out a bit. She's over-the-top clingy to me when I'm home, as in she wants all 80 pounds of her dog body to be as close to me as possible all ... the ... time. If you know me at all, you know how much I love my dogs and it's hard for me to admit that it's very likely that Julie's sudden anxiety and behavior issues are due in large part to the fact that she's getting old. Julie's never had any concept of personal space ... my kids would say that's my fault and that I've let her be the boss of me instead of me being the boss of her (to which I say pish-posh) ... but her current behavior is far and beyond the normal no concept of personal space Julie we all know and love.

While I'm patient with my big old dog wanting and needing to be in my lap while I'm sitting on the couch or sleep on my back in bed at night, I'm not at all happy or long-suffering with her most recent behavior. As much as I love her and as much as I'm trying to be understanding, pawing my arm until it bleeds isn't scoring old Julie any love points ... and especially not today. I woke up this morning to a very itchy left forearm ... a forearm so itchy that at one point at work today, the only tiny shred of relief I found was to hold my arm under running water. We have a pretty decent supply of first aid items at the office, but, much to my dismay, I discovered today that anti-itch cream isn't one of them. I also discovered, again much to my dismay, that my co-workers do not keep tubes of Benedryl cream at their desks either. Suffice it to say that the first thing I did when I got home from work was grab the Benedryl cream out of the cabinet and coat my arm with the magical white paste ... and I do mean coat ... I'm pretty sure I used half the tube in my attempt to drive the itch demons away. I've never been so happy to see a tube of medicated lotion in my entire life, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the miracle-working medication did exactly what it was made to do ... make my flipping arm stop itching.

Here's the thing ... maybe my forearm was itching so badly today because my skin is dry ... highly, highly doubtful since every inch of skin I have is terribly dry right now. Maybe it was itching because it's been a long and stressful week. Maybe it was itching because it's preparing itself for battle when the zombie invasion occurs. While those are all rational, realistic explanations for my itchiness, I think it's more likely ... much more likely ... that Julie must have had something on her paw that has caused my arm to itch. All I know is that the greatest medical creation ever is Benedryl cream ... seriously ... the greatest medical wonder in the history of mankind. I fully intend to slather up my arm again before I go to bed and hope and pray that whatever caused my itch will go away while I sleep. Hmmm ... I wonder if there's a Benedryl cream that would take away the itch in my heart ... the scratch in my mind ... the irritation in my soul.

Thank God for Benedryl cream ... thank you, thank you, thank you, God, for Benedryl cream.