Let's Talk About Lipstick

Perhaps I'm the only person who over-analyzes a few things once in a while ... okay, okay, maybe I over-analyze pretty much everything all the flipping time. But my gut tells me I'm probably not alone in my tendency to obsessively contemplate and over-analyze, and if the past is an indicator of the future, at least a few of you will write to me to confirm that my gut is indeed telling me the truth. Now having established the fact that I'm an over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-contemplating weirdo, let's talk about lipstick ... yes, I said lipstick. But you'll have to read my entire post if you wish to learn why I've spent the last 30 hours or so of my life focusing my obsessive, over-the-top analytical, contemplative thinking skills on lipstick ... yes, I said lipstick.

If you know me at all, you know that I'm always asking why ... I want to know why things happen a certain way or why people say the things they do or why coffee tastes better in Canada or why owls are so creepy or why a splinter in my finger can hurt more than giving birth or any of the million other why thoughts that run through my mind every day. Sometimes those why thoughts dance in and out of my brain faster than a cheetah can run ... but then there are those other times ... those times when something happens or someone says something that sparks a why question I just cannot get rid of no matter how hard I try. There's another thing you know if you know me at all ... you know that it's not at all unusual for me to seek out some elusive pearl of wisdom in the whys that won't go away. I'm always looking for the lesson ... searching for the truth ... hunting for the insight that so often can only be found when I'm right smack dab in the middle of a why. Which leads me back to lipstick ... yes, I said lipstick.

Why? Why is lipstick such a big freaking deal to some women? Who decided way back when that lipstick was an indicator of femininity or beauty? Was there a decree issued or a proclamation made stating that wearing lipstick is a must for all girly girls? For that matter, why do women wear makeup or panty hose or paint their nails or curl their hair or shave their pits or pluck their eyebrows? And one of the most haunting whys of all to me ... why is a woman who doesn't do or wear any of those things considered to be less of a woman? Why are we as women so quick to hand down judgment based on such a truly inconsequential thing as whether or not we wear lipstick? Why am I so guilty and ashamed to admit that I do exactly that every single day? I'm ashamed to say that I'm guilty of stereotyping women who wear lipstick and dresses and sparkly stuff as being girly girls or prissy princesses or worst of all ... straight or gay. I've been on the receiving end of that type of labeling far too many times to count ... I know how unfair it is and how deeply those labels can hurt, and potentially even destroy, someone's life, and yet I'm guilty of doing exactly the same thing. 

Yesterday at work I was in the kitchen chatting with a friend as she filled her water bottle. She was wiping the straw part of the bottle with a towel, and as she did, she said, "Gross." I noticed the tip of the straw was smeared with something reddish in color, and I said, "Lipstick?" to which my friend replied, "Yes!" And to which I promptly remarked in return, "That's something you'll never see on any of my water bottles because I'm ..." My friend didn't hesitate for even a millisecond as she said, "Because you're what? Gay? There are plenty of gay women who wear lipstick ... don't be so stereotypical!" Me being me, of course I quickly tried to cover my fail by saying, "I know that ... that's why they're called lipstick lesbians." I couldn't begin to tell you what the rest of our conversation was after that exchange ... my brain was already way down the path of "I just slapped a label on myself ... I defined myself as being less than a 'real' woman because I don't wear lipstick."

So, gal pals ... let's talk about lipstick. Let's talk about the way we see each other and the ways in which we label and judge each other. Let's talk about getting past all the societal expectations and definitions of what being a woman really does look like. Let's talk about loving each other simply for who we are as individuals and not for what we wear or don't wear. Let's talk about our differences in a good way ... in a way that leads not only to acceptance but to respect and value and admiration as well. 

Let's talk about lipstick, gals ... let's talk a whole lot about lipstick.