Save the Sappiness

I'm pretty sure I've cried more tears over the last four or so years than I had cried throughout my entire life up to that point. Though some people would attribute my relatively newfound propensity for tears to my daily battle with depression, I must beg to differ. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm quite certain that depression plays a role in my now more frequent liquid expression of emotion, but I don't believe it is worthy of receiving all the blame. Before I get a million emails chiding me for making that statement or accusing me of downplaying the way that depression can wreck someone's life, please allow me to repeat myself ... I don't believe my struggle with depression is solely to blame for the undeniable fact that I cry more than I used to. Sorry, but I just don't think it's the only reason ... nope, I just don't. In fact, I have come to realize that it's something much more sinister, much more disturbing, much more alarmingly uncontrollable than depression working against me, friends. It's not easy to admit, and though I know I will be judged harshly by many, I can no longer deny the truth ... I have developed a serious case of sappiness. That's right ... my name is Terrie, and I'm a sap.

It's interesting, isn't it, that I feel the need to apologize for being sappy? That my sappiness is something I often feel the need to hide, to guard lest it escape and wreak havoc on everyone I interact with? That admitting I'm sappy makes me feel weak and vulnerable and dumb and naive? That our society rewards its tough, intense, "less emotion, more drive" members while it discredits the sappy, the emotional, the feeling ones as less than or without merit? I find that more than interesting, friends ... I find it sad. Maybe I do find extraordinary meaning in the little things I experience each day too often ... maybe I do see life lessons in things that others consider to be simple or routine or mundane too much ... maybe I do discover truth and encouragement in conversations with those whom I love too many times. And maybe I do share that part of my heart with others through the words I speak and the stories I write with an extra heaping of sappy smeared all over the top like jam on toast. Maybe I do all of those things ... and maybe, just maybe my sappiness isn't such a bad thing.


While society as a whole may think that being sappy is a bad thing, I've discovered something I consider to be really, really, really important over the last few years as I've journeyed down the path of becoming an open, honest, real and transparent sap extraordinaire. I've discovered that there are more people than you know who ... people who would never in a million years admit it to be true ... there are tons of people in the world who actually need a sap in their lives. They may act all tough on the outside and proclaim that they detest sappiness in all its forms, but if you watch them carefully and hear them thoughtfully ... if you keep your eyes and ears wide open ... you'll see past their tears and you'll hear their hearts. There's not a doubt in my mind that if you simply watch long enough and listen hard enough, you'll see and hear how much they long for some sappiness to filter through to them.

Yep, that's right ... I'm a full-blown, hard-core sap and something tells me that's not going to all of a sudden disappear. Maybe, just maybe, I should embrace my inner sappiness ... maybe being a story-telling, finding the biggest of meaning in the smallest of things, tear-shedding, lesson-learning sap is exactly who I'm supposed to be. Maybe it is, friends ... maybe it is indeed.