Toilet Seats and Broken Hearts

Not too long ago, I told a friend to feel free to hit me on the head with a brick when I need to be reminded that God is always in control of all things. When I wrote those words, I never expected that God would take me up on that challenge and choose to use a toilet seat rather than a brick to get my attention, but I suppose I am glad that He did.

For the first time since God called me to a speaking ministry 10 years ago, I had to cancel my participation in an event this weekend due to some health-related issues. Since my plans changed, my oldest son and daughter-in-law came to town Friday evening to give me some much needed and much appreciated help around the house and a huge dose of love and affection. An evening spent with them and some dear friends did wonders for my sagging spirit. I went to bed feeling more than blessed and loved, and drifted into a quiet and peaceful sleep.

As is true every night, I rose in the middle of the night to check my blood sugar, stopping first in the bathroom to ... well, you know. As I stood up, I was overcome with nausea, broke out in a cold sweat and then promptly bit the dust. When I came to, I was on the floor with a skinned knee, a bump on my head and ... you guessed it ... a broken toilet seat, caused I'm sure by my wounded head. I crawled back into my room and pulled my reeling body back into bed, hoping the racket hadn't woken my son and daughter-in-law.

My home church was hosting a Beth Moore simulcast today but since I was scheduled to be out of town speaking, I had not planned to attend. God, however, obviously had different plans for me this weekend and when our women's ministry leader heard that I couldn't travel, she immediately said, "Then you need to come to the Beth Moore event." My response was a firm and resounding, "Maybe." Insert the words "brick" and "toilet seat" here, and you'll know that I found myself attending the simulcast today with a sore knee and head, and a more than sizable chip on my shoulder.

Mrs. Moore had six points in her message, all of them significant and insightful, but it was her remarks in regard to her final point that cut to the core of my heart. I need to state here that I do not cry easily ... and I certainly do not shed tears in front of others if I can at all avoid it. As the event closed with a time of worship ending with the song "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone," I was overwhelmed with the realization that there are areas of my life that I've held onto, places that I won't allow God to go into, things that I have stubbornly refused to give up and let go of. The tears that I fought so hard to control quickly turned into weeping as God let me know once again that I need to be humbled ... to be broken ... to lay it all down ... to rest in Him and His plan.

Take my chains, Lord, and make me whole in You ... crush my stubborn will and humble my prideful spirit. And if You need to break a toilet seat or two in the process to cause me to look up to You, I'm OK with that.