Buried Alive

Just like every other Halloween season, there are tons of scary movies on television. A couple of nights ago, I was in the kitchen when I heard the tag line for one of the channels, "Join us for 24 hours of the deepest, darkest terror you've ever experienced." I filled my plate and settled in on the couch as I thought ... Why would I want to do that? Seriously ... 24 hours of scary movies? I think not. And yet, last night I couldn't sleep and in my channel surfing, I landed on a movie scene where a woman was being buried alive. And I sat there on my couch and watched the whole terrifying flick, telling myself over and over that I should change the channel or go back to bed ... but nope, I watched the entire movie.

Needless to say, I certainly didn't sleep well after watching the scary movie, and several times throughout the day, I found myself thinking about some of the scenes again. And the more I thought about the woman's ordeal in the film, I began to think about how so many people are buried alive in life. People who go through each day ... walking, talking, breathing ... people who seem to be living but in reality are buried alive. People who keep their hearts buried ... deeply hidden away ... because they fear being hurt, because they fear being judged, because they fear letting others inside, because they fear rejection, because they fear showing who they truly are.

When God first called me to be a speaker, I learned some big lessons in a hurry ... not the least of which was that I had to be somewhat ... well ... somewhat guarded as to whom I shared the deepest parts of my heart and mind with. I learned some hard truths about misplaced trust in those early years, and because of those experiences, I found myself reluctant to be completely open with many people. I had a few friends whom I would allow inside, but only a very few. With everyone else, I would only let them see the parts of me that didn't involve any risk for me. While that mode of operation protected me at times from being hurt or wounded, it also made it easy to bury things ... it made it easy for me to be buried alive.

As I drove to work this morning, a song on the CD I was listening to jumped out at me. A song that spoke of being buried ... of keeping everything inside.

"I know they'll bury me
Before they hear the whole story
Even if they do
I know they won't care to
Chalk it up to one mistake
Oh God forbid they give me grace 

I know they'll bury me
I know they'll bury me
I know they'll bury me 

Even though I got conviction
Even though I got my pride
I know they'll bury me
They'll bury me alive

Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
So they leave me alone, leave me alone." 

Use the shovel of Your mighty hand, Lord, to dig me out ... to make me real ... to make me whole ... to make me trust ... to make me open ... to make me completely Yours.