Dream On

Dreams have always fascinated me, and I can still remember certain dreams from years and years ago ... like one I had after my brother Jerry passed away. Someone was knocking on the door that led into Mom and Dad's basement, and when I opened it, Jerry was standing there with Jesus. They came into the den and told me stories about angels and heaven. I remember that dream as vividly as if it had occurred while I slept last night, and I've wondered at times over the years just what that dream actually meant. A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that I was fishing in a creek ... I had my feet dangling in the water, and Julie and Ollie were stretched out beside me when a mountain lion came out of nowhere and tried to eat us. Thank goodness I woke up before anyone got hurt, but I can still feel the sense of terror that washed over me while I was dreaming.

I'm not sure why, but I've been thinking a lot lately about a different kind of dreams ... the dreams of life ... you know what I mean ... who you will be, where you will go, what you will do ... the really big dreams of life. Perhaps it's because I'm getting close to another 50-something birthday in December. Perhaps it's because I'm closer to being done with life than I am to just beginning. Perhaps it's because I know that I've given up on ever realizing some of the dreams I used to have. Perhaps it's because my list of regrets now far outnumbers my list of dreams. Perhaps it's a combination of all of those things, but whatever the reason (or reasons), I've got dreaming on my mind.

When I was a teenager, I dreamed of becoming a professional tennis player or a newspaper columnist or a rock star. In my adult years, I dreamed of becoming a college professor or a published author or earning my master's degree or traveling the world as a speaker. The more I thought about my dreams from the past, the more I realized that somewhere along the way, all of those dreams have vanished ... whether it's due to age or health or realism or whatever ... those dreams have disappeared. And perhaps what has become an even greater revelation to me than the fact that things I once hoped for will never come to pass is acknowledging the fact that I seem to have lost my oomph for dreaming altogether.

I was thinking over the weekend about how different my life is now than it was just a year ago ... so much has changed ... who I am has changed ... where I am going has changed ... what I do each day has changed. Maybe it's time to find some new dreams to chase, to follow my heart more and my mind less, to dream on and to dream bigger than I ever have before. I know one thing for sure ... when I'm dead, I won't have the chance to dream anymore.

Maybe it is indeed time ... time to dream on.