You have no idea how badly I wanted to be pun-ny with the title for tonight's post, but out of respect for those of you who hate puns, I restrained myself. I truly do not understand, by the way, how anyone can't be a fan of a well-placed pun. I so wanted to write "Chears" instead of "Cheers" ... get it? Chears to Clean Ears ... hilarious, right? You do get it, right? Ch"ears" to Clean "Ears" ... ears to ears? Don't worry, I know what you're thinking ... you're thinking "Terrie is without question the cleverest, most hilarious person in the history of the world." Now that I know so many of you are completely mesmerized by my pun-ny cleverness, perhaps I should change the title. But if I change the title then I'd have to dump this amazing intro paragraph and another one. And even more devastating, I'd be forced to live out the remainder of my days bearing the guilt that would most assuredly come from knowing I had denied you the pleasure of reading it. Oh, the importance of the decisions to be made by those of us who suppose ourselves to be writers. Seriously ... stop laughing.
Though I wish I could convince those of you ... and myself, for that matter ... that my proclivity to having irrational fears that may or may not at times cause me to come to potentially even more irrational conclusions is a rather recent development for me, I simply cannot. You have no idea how much I wish my irrational fears of flying or thunderstorms or sinkholes or the furnace exploding or waking up to discover that all my fingernails dissolved while I was sleeping (that's a new one for those of you who are keeping a record) could be attributed to aging or being alone or medication or diabetes or some other more recent change in the chemistry of my brain. But the truth is that irrational fears aren't really new to me at all.
My mom was deaf in one ear for as long as I can remember, and she often complained about the sensation she had in that particular ear. True to Mom's gift with words, she would describe her deafness like this:
"Lord, help, it feels like I've done been sunk down in a barrel of water and they've done put the lid on me. All I feel in that ear is like it's full of water and it's a sloshin' around in there. It's enough to drive a person smack dab crazy, that's all."
Hence, I grew up being completely terrified of going deaf, even if it was only in one ear. As I got older, I convinced myself that losing my hearing was simply inevitable and that it was only a matter of time until I would be living in a world of total silence. And then it happened ... I woke up one morning and I could barely hear, and it was just like Mom had described it. It was as if I'd been submerged in a barrel of water and the lid had been sealed. Every turn of my head proved Mom's description of the sensation of water sloshing around to be completely accurate. Now a rational person would have assumed a sudden deafness such as I experienced to be caused by an ear infection or swimmer's ear, and would have quickly made an appointment with a doctor to get it checked out. But what did I do? I waited a couple of weeks before going to the doctor because I was so certain I already knew what the outcome of the appointment would be.
I can't even begin to tell you how embarrassed I was when the doctor told me I'd be able to hear just fine after he used a machine to suck out the wax I had managed to get lodged in both ear canals ... most likely caused from doing what I'd always been told not to do. Stupid Q-Tips. The doctor was correct when he said that once the machine pulled out all the impacted wax from my ear canals I'd be able to hear again, and you can bet the sounds of my children's voices were extra sweet to me for a long time after that experience. You can also bet that I will never ever let a Q-Tip come anywhere near my ears again ... I don't ever want to have to experience the ear wax sucking machine again. Trust me when I tell you it was not at all fun or pleasant.
See here's the thing, friends ... I couldn't hear until the doctor cleaned out my ear canals. I couldn't hear because there was something blocking the way and keeping me from hearing. Let me say that again because it's important ... I couldn't hear because there was something in the way, something blocking the way that was keeping me from hearing. Here's what I think ... I think all too often we let something get stuck in the pathways of our hearts, something that blocks the way to us being able to hear each other. Sometimes what's in the way of us really hearing each other is fear ... sometimes it's jealousy ... sometimes it's anger ... sometimes it's selfishness ... sometimes it's busyness ... and sometimes it's just plain old lack of concern for those around us.
I'll leave you with this thought ... had I not had the wax removed from my ears all those years ago, I would most likely have suffered permanent hearing loss. If I don't get all the excuses removed from my heart, eventually I won't be able to hear the hearts of others. Keep your Ears Wide Open, friends ... keep them clean and keep them wide open.
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