You Know You Want To

It's probably pretty safe to say that most of us have been inspired by another human being at some point in our lives ... someone who's survived their own personal encounter with hardship or illness or family tragedy or someone who's experienced great success in their relationships or community or business. Unless you have a heart of stone, it's over-the-top inspirational to witness a person who's been to hell and back venture outside of their own pain and suffering to share their experience with the hope that they might help someone else to know that there's a light at the end of every tunnel. And who isn't inspired by a great success story, right? Whether it's the story of deep and lasting friendship or leading a community drive to help a family in need or building a thriving company, it inspires and gives hope to others to hear about the good. I did a little research on the criteria for being an inspiration, and one word kept popping up time and time again ... communication. According to the Google, it's super difficult to inspire others without communication ... go figure.

Last Wednesday, my favorite life coach, Jenne, was in our office conducting various training classes, and it just so happened that I attended the one on communication skills. Jenne always inspires the heck out of me ... I've never come away from one of her classes without being challenged to think about things in a new or different way. Last week's class included a discussion about the various types of communication, the way different personalities process communication and differing communication styles. As is always true in Jenne's classes, I generally can't write fast enough to get all of her great wisdom and insight down on paper. For all of her classes I've attended, there always seems to be at least one important truth buried within all of the information I'm desperately trying to capture on the pages of my notebook. Last week's class was no exception, though it took me a bit of pondering and digging to uncover just what that truth was.

"We are all desperate to connect."

I must confess that my first thought when Jenne uttered that statement was, "Well, duh. Of course people want to feel connected. No one wants to be alone or on the outside looking in. Duh, duh, duh." But then she starting talking about things that need to happen in order for people to connect with each other ... things like trust and vulnerability, and give and take, and talking and listening, and getting past the social niceties, and really opening up to other people, and get this ... asking for help. FYI ... I put a star by the "asking for help" one, not that I have a problem with that ... nope, not me, not at all, not even a little bit, nope, nope, nope. I must have starred it because I have a friend who finds it almost impossible to ask for help ... yep, yep, yep, that has to be the reason I starred that one for sure. Alas, please forgive me as once again, I digress ... back to what has to take place if we want to connect with others.

After much pondering and mulling over and deep thinking, I've come to the conclusion that Jenne is indeed correct ... we really are all desperate to connect. And after significantly much more pondering and mulling over and deep thinking, I've also come to the conclusion that the good life coach is also correct in saying that connection can only take place when there's communication. And communication ... effective, real, honest communication ... involves both sharing and listening. Thinking that one-way communication will lead to a deep and lasting connection with another person is like thinking Frosty the Snowman won't melt if you put him in a 400-degree oven. It's tough, if not almost impossible, to connect with someone who expects you to be an open book when they are a closed encyclopedia. 

I know how much I want to be connected to other people ... I know how dangerous it is to feel disconnected and alone and isolated. So what's say we try harder to communicate? What's say we open up and trust each other more? What's say we admit that we really do need each other? Be uncomfortable ... be real ... be connected. You know you want to ... you know you really, really, really want to.