And for Today, Love is Enough

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I'm not sure that I've had to tell myself to do that before, to breathe, I mean ... but I sure have said, typed or texted that mantra a whole, whole, whole lot over the last couple of days. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. And those closest to me have said, typed or texted it right back to me. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe, Terrie, breathe. I wasn't so sure last night that I was going to wake up breathing this morning ... I wasn't so sure at all. But you know what? Not only did I wake up breathing, I've been breathing all day long. Granted, I've had to chant my mantra more than a few times throughout the day and tell myself not only to breathe, but to breathe deeply enough to hopefully calm my racing and pounding heart. And I can assure you that my old ticker did more than its fair share of both racing and pounding today, friends ... way, way, way more than its fair share.

I contemplated not blogging tonight ... actually, I contemplated telling all of you that I would be taking a break from posting for a while. I must also admit that I've wondered off and on all day how many readers I will lose following last night's post. But when I talked to my friend about it this afternoon, she said, "You must post again tonight."  I told her that not posting felt like I was going into hiding, and I told her I didn't think I ever wanted to hide again. And as she messaged me ideas for what I should write, all I could think was how right she was ... I had to post again tonight. I thought about posting something funny or light-hearted, maybe a little poem to play off of the Dr. Seuss quotes I posted all day yesterday on Facebook. A little poem like this ...

I'm not a duck or the trunk of a tree
I'm neither of those, I am just me.
I'm not a dog or a big giant bee
I'm neither of those, I am just me.
I'm not a hat or a boat on the sea
I'm neither of those, I am just me.
I'm not a moose or a tall drink of tea
I'm neither of those, I am just me.
I'm just who I am, nothing more nothing less
I'm Terrie, that's all, though I won't wear a dress.

OK, so I'm no Dr. Seuss, but you've got to admit the ending "dress" line is kind of funny.

But then, I had a conversation with one of my friends at work at the end of day, and I knew what I should write about tonight ... tonight I should tell you that for today, love is enough. I've been overwhelmed by many things over the last 24 hours ... the number of views my blog has gotten, the number of people who have forwarded the link to my post or shared it on Facebook with their friends and families, the number of emails and private messages I've received today (some encouraging, accepting, loving and supportive and some ... well ... suffice it to say some are not) ... yep, I've been completely overwhelmed last night and today, completely overwhelmed.

As my friend and I talked, I realized that today wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. Yes, there were hurtful, hate-filled emails and messages, but there was also unconditional love and acceptance, too. And as we talked, I knew deep in my soul that the people who matter most to me love me still ... the people who matter most to me will always love me. And for today, the love of those people is enough ... for today, their love for me and mine for them is enough. The more I thought about the concept of love being enough, my mind began to race back through some big events in my life over the last few months. Some big events that should be remembered ... some big ways that people showed me just how true that statement can be ... and for today, love is enough. 

Remember my meltdown at work when I ended up in a conference room with one of the VPs in my office? That was a day when love was enough. Remember my most difficult conversation with my children? That was a day when love was enough. Remember the hard meeting with the gals at work? That was a day when love was enough. Remember my shopping excursion for clothes for the party? That was a day when love was enough. I remember each one of those days and so many, many more since the day my hiding place started crumbling around me ... and without exception or fail, each one of those difficult, painful, heart-wrenching, soul-piercing, mind-exhausting days were days when love was enough. And for today, friends ... and for today, perhaps more than any other day in my life, for today, love is enough.

And now I am tired, so it's off to bed I must go
But first, this I must say, please know it is so
On the darkest of days and the nights that are rough
Please know in your soul that love is enough.