And God Said ...

Several years ago, I was contacted by a large Christian company in Nashville inquiring as to my interest in a writing position within their women's ministry marketing department. At the time, I was more than homesick for the hills of Tennessee and missing my family in Chattanooga in a big way, so I chatted a bit about the job with the sweet gal with the Southern accent. Though I decided not to accept the position with the company and never met my new Tennessee buddy in person, a friendship was formed that has lasted throughout the years via email and Facebook. While we don't talk often, when we do, the conversations are filled with encouragement and love, and I am always blessed after reading her messages. We hadn't chatted in several months, and yesterday when I saw a message from her on Facebook, I was both pleased and nervous at the same time. Especially when I read the words, "...  and thought I'd take the opportunity to at least skim through some of your posts from the past several weeks. Through that skimming, I went back to your January 1st post." My stomach immediately knotted, and my heart sank as I steeled myself to read on ... you see, she was one of the people I worried about when I posted to my blog that day, not because I thought she would be judgmental or condemning, but because I didn't want to disappoint or hurt her in any way. I'm not going to tell you everything her message to me yesterday said, but I would like to share a couple of things.

My long-distance friend reminded me that only God has the answers to ... well ... everything. For all the things I don't know, for all the things you don't know, for all the things no one knows ... God has the answers. For every single question that has ever been asked, every single dilemma that has ever been pondered, every single outcome that has ever been contemplated, every single decision that has ever been faced ... God has the answers. That's big, friends ... really, really, really big ... at least for me it is anyway. So often, I try to figure everything out on my own when what I really need to do is just rest in the knowledge that He's already got a plan and that He already knows all the answers. My friend also reminded me that it could be that the answers to some of my most difficult and haunting questions may never be revealed to me in my earthly life. Now for those of you who know me well, you know that's a tough thing for me to do, wait for answers, that is ... especially when those answers are in regard to the really hard questions of life. But as I've thought about what she said, I know that there's a deep truth in my friend's words ... God knows all the answers, and He may not choose to share them with me for a very, very long time. And ... and ... and ... my job is to wait and to trust and to stay faithful to Him.

While my friend's message was filled with big truths and deep lessons that God used her to speak to me, two phrases in particular practically jumped off the page when I read them. "I am so glad that you have chosen to live ... it's a big life--one with lots of pieces and parts--and one that your choice to keep living glorifies Him beyond our understanding." As I sat on my couch with tears streaming down my cheeks, the words "chosen to live" and "choice to keep living" pounded in my brain and streaked through my heart. I've heard the words chosen and choice a lot recently ... a whole, whole, whole lot ... in a completely different context. I did make a choice a little over a year ago, friends ... I made a choice to tear up my goodbye letters, flush the pills, and get up and try again. But I never once thought about my choice that day as glorifying God until I read my friend's words, "... your choice to keep living glorifies Him beyond our understanding." Talk about Him knowing all the answers and having a huge, gigantic, way beyond my comprehension level kind of plan ... wow, wow, wow. It really and truly is a big life indeed, my Southern friend, it really and truly is.

My friend closed her note to me with some incredibly sweet and powerful words ... words of encouragement, words of acceptance, words of compassion ... words to remind me again of who I really am and of the strength of the God to whom I belong. I'm going to close with my friend's words, because I know I'm not the only one who needs to be reminded today that life is worth living, that you make a difference to those around you, that you are loved more than you will ever know by the God who made you ... the God who made you who you are, just exactly who you are.

"I am praying that you experience more kindness than difficulty, more love than anything else. And I'm praying that you feel God's strength through every step. You are His. And He's got you. You are who you are, who He's made you. Full of goodness, compassion, and love. This world is so much better because you are here. Truly. Keep doing what you do--and give those pups a pat for me! Much love to you, my friend." 

Thank you, dear friend from the hills of Tennessee ... thank you for your words, but thank you so much more for your friendship. You bless my heart, you truly do.