On Borrowed Time

So I've got another confession to make ... sometimes I get really bent out of shape about words. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I get really bent out of shape when certain words are used incorrectly. Take the word borrow, for example. I hear that word used incorrectly almost every day, and when I do, it makes me crazy ... well, OK, crazier than I already am. See here's the thing, if you ask to "borrow" something, that means you're going to give it back to whomever loaned it to you (key word there being loaned, by the way). You know, like when you ask to borrow a pen or a shirt or a car to use for a bit and then you give said pen, shirt or car back to its rightful owner. Those are examples of borrowing. But when you ask someone for a drink of water or some toilet paper or a toothbrush, those are things you want to "have" ... things you have no intention of returning to the original owner, at least you shouldn't ever return them after you've used them anyway. That's why when I hear someone say, "Can I borrow some toilet paper?" it takes everything in me not to scream at the person and immediately run from the room. I mean seriously ... borrow some toilet paper? Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. "Can I have some toilet paper?" ... not borrow, have ... not ever borrow, have, have, have, have, have some toilet paper, not ever borrow.

I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "living on borrowed time" ... I remember my mom saying those words more and more often as she grew older, and I've certainly thought about those words a lot over the last few years. I will never forget the day a little over three years when I sat in a chair in an exam room at my doctor's office as I waited for her to come in and tell me the results of the blood tests that had been performed the day before. I will also never forget how grim she was when she entered the room and sat in the chair across from me. And I will certainly never forget what she said to me ... "You shouldn't be sitting in that chair, my friend ... you should be dead ... you've been living on borrowed time." Those were pretty sobering words for me to hear, and the more I've learned about blood sugar levels and diabetes over the last three years, the more I've come to understand how correct my doctor was in her statements that day. With an A1c of 14.8, she was right ... I shouldn't be sitting on my couch typing tonight, and it's only by the grace of God that I am.

By the grace of God ... even as I type those words, I can't help but recognize that there was another time in the not too distant past when God's grace saved me. A time when I had decided that living was too hard ... a time when I didn't want to borrow any more time. I found an interesting piece of information concerning the phrase "living on borrowed time" ... it dates back to the 1800s, first appearing in the September issue of The Indiana Progress in 1886. And when I actually read the reference, I was stunned. "We may be care-worn and aged, forsaken of the world, living on borrowed time, useless so far as any activity is concerned, dependent on children, or friends; yet Jesus has loving acquaintance with us." All I can say is ... wow. He's trying to speak to me again, trying to teach me yet another lesson.

Tonight on my way home from work, I turned on my iPod to listen to some music as I sat in traffic. I'm pretty sure it was not coincidence that the song that began to play on the shuffle was one by Jason Gray titled "Good To Be Alive." It seems only fitting to close tonight's post with the lyrics to the song ... it seems only fitting to breathe a prayer of thanks for God's amazing grace and His faithful protection ... it seems only fitting indeed. 

"Hold on
Is this really the life I'm living?
Cause I don't feel like I deserve it
Every day that I wake, every breath that I take, You've given
So right here, right now
While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive

I won't take it for granted
I won't waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say 'Thank you'

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be, it's good to be alive

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive

I won't take it for granted
I won't waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say 'Thank you.'" --- Jason Gray