Do You Believe It?

Sometimes I wonder if my children wish I wouldn't share so many stories about them in this blog, and sometimes I think perhaps I shouldn't share so many stories about them in this blog. And then I think ... but they provide such good fodder for my writing. And so many times, the memories that pop into my mind about my kids directly apply to the subject matter for a particular post for my blog, especially those posts that have been cooking in my brain for a bit. Take today's post, for example ... from almost the minute I started thinking about the significance of a question that's been posed to me several times over the last week or so, a memory about my daughter Meghann came to mind. You see, when Meg was little, there were some things she would say that would always make me chuckle. Statements like, "It doesn't care," or "I want my night-night," or "Mom, the brothers are being mean to me." But one of my all-time favorite Meghann sayings involved her pronouncing any words that had the letters "l" or "r" in them as if they had a "w" instead. When she was very young, yellow was yewwow, road was woad, blue was bwue, blanket was bwanket, and hearing (or heawing) my precious little blond-haired baby girl say those words was just too, too, too cute. One of my all-time favorites was when something would happen that amazed or surprised Meg and she would say, "Oh my goodness, I don't beweive it!" Yep, she was so flipping adorable, and I'm smiling as I sit here typing while I picture my sweet little girl in her footie p.j.s staring wide-eyed with her crystal blue peepers saying, "Oh, Mommie ... I don't beweive it!!"

I mentioned a week or so ago that my son Brad had come to my office to do some filming for a special video project he and I are working on together (and yes, for those of you who've peppered me with questions about it, when it's completed, I'll write about it and give the link for viewing, hopefully next week). Several of my friends at work helped out with some shots that appear near the end of the video, and they did an amazing job ... they were relaxed and comfortable and said their lines easily and effectively. And then it was my turn to say my lines ... three short sentences ... and I was terrible. The first time I tried, I got choked up and Brad had to turn off his cameras. I managed to pull myself together, and Brad began filming again. I'm not sure how many times I tried to say my lines before I lowered my head and whispered to myself, "I can do this ... this is important ... I can do this." I tried again to say the three sentences. Brad and my friends offered up direction and encouragement ... relax, smile, don't try so hard. After several more unsuccessful attempts to capture me on film, Brad lowered his camera and asked me the question I mentioned earlier ... a question that's been asked of me several times since our filming session ... a question that has haunted me all week ... a question that pierces my heart each time it's presented to me. My son's eyes bored into mine as he said, "Do you believe it, Mom? Do you believe what you're saying?" My eyes brimmed with tears as I squeaked, "I do, Brad, I believe it," and then I turned and looked at one of my friends and said, "I do believe it ... I do."

I've said countless times in my posts that it always amazes me when God uses different people in various circumstances to cause me to get the lesson He wants me to learn. The day after we filmed at my office, I showed the script for the video to the life-saving head doctor. She nodded and agreed as she read, and then she said, "You need to believe this ... do you believe it?" I didn't tell her what Brad had said to me when we were filming ... nor did I tell her of the impact her words had on me. A couple of days ago, I went to see my regular doctor to have blood work done and I let her read the script, too. Following her comments of, "Oh, wow," and "This is powerful," she said, "I sure hope you believe all of this ... do you believe it?" I didn't tell her what Brad had said to me when we were filming or what the life-saving head doctor had said to me the day after ... nor did I tell her of the impact her words had on me. I emailed the script to a friend yesterday, and in her reply, she said, "Do you believe what you've written, Terrie? Do you believe it with all of your heart?" I didn't tell her what Brad had said to me when we were filming, what the life-saving head doctor had said to me the day after, what my regular doctor said to me a couple of days ago ... nor did I tell her of the impact her words had on me.

This morning, the question is still coursing through my mind, but even more, it is beginning to settle deep within my heart and take up residence in my soul. I can't even begin to count how many times over the last year I've said that I don't know what I believe anymore ... I can't even begin to count. But this morning, I think I get what God wants me to understand about the question, about the lesson He is trying to teach me. The question is about so much more than believing in the words for the video ... so very much more, friends. The question is about believing in truth ... the question is about believing in hope ... the question is about believing in faith ... the question is about believing in Him.

"Do you believe it, Mom? Do you believe what you're saying?" I do believe it, Braddie ... I really do believe it ... I really and truly do.