Just Be You. Awesome You.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my son Brad grew up to be a filmmaker since he was my kid who loved to dress up in all kinds of costumes. He spent at least a couple of years dressing like a fireman every day, and then there was his Dick Tracy phase. And when he got into junior high and high school, he couldn't wait to perform in the school plays and musicals. I've written before about Brad's gift for storytelling and how I think that is part of what makes him such an incredible filmmaker, but I also think part of what makes Brad so very good behind the camera is that he also understands what it means to be in front of it as well. I think all those years of acting ... of pretending to be someone else ... formed the basis for Brad's love of filmmaking and helped to teach him to tell stories not just through the lens of the camera, but through the eyes of the heart.

In my post "Looking for Normal," I wrote about how I had been trying to "girl up" my look a little and that I hadn't worn suspenders for a while. What I didn't write about was why ... a few weeks ago, someone asked me why I dressed the way I do. And it bothered me. A lot. A lot enough that I spent the weeks following that question trying ... well ... trying really hard to dress to fit someone else's definition of what normal should look like for me. And the harder I tried to do it, the more miserable I became. Yes, I know that a chunk of my depression is due to physical and chemical changes within my brain, but another great, big huge part of it is caused from spending my life pretending to be someone else ... dressing in costume, acting, if you will, trying to be someone I'm not. I like suspenders ... and ties ... and jeans ... and Converse ... and blazers. I do not like dresses ... or skirts ... or sequins ... or sparkles ... or lace ... or heels. And you know what? That doesn't make me less of a person or even less of a woman for that matter. I dress the way I do for no other reason than that's what I feel most comfortable wearing. I dress the way I do because for the first time in my life, I'm trying desperately to be me ... nothing more, nothing less ... just me. And just so you know ... for the last two days, I've worn suspenders.

On December 31, 2012, I did something I had never done before in this blog ... I asked another person to write the words for that night's post. I didn't give her any direction as to what to write about, and quite honestly, when I first read her words, I didn't think I could post them. Not because they were poorly written, because they were truly a work of art. My hesitation in posting what she had written was because her words were so kind ... so thoughtful ... so supportive of me. I had no idea that evening when I clicked "Publish" just how many people would be touched by her words, especially the last line of her post. A line that has taken on a life of its own ... a line that appears near the close of our video Ears Wide Open? ... a line that every single one of us should take to heart. If you haven't read the post, here's the link ... and if you have read it, go back and read it again. But when you get to the parts where my friend talks about me, change my name to yours ... yep, instead of Terrie, read your name instead. Why? Because just like me, you need to be you. Awesome you.

Life is short, friends ... too short to spend it being anyone other than who you are. Be real. Be open. Be honest. Be transparent. And most important ... most important of all ... just be you. Awesome you.