Not a Chance

There was a time in my life when I bought a lottery ticket every weekend with the hope that I would one day win the big jackpot and be an instant millionaire overnight. And for quite a long time, I actually believed I really had a chance to win. Never mind that the odds are far greater that I will be struck by lightning multiple times or have identical quadruplets (in my younger child-bearing years, of course) or that I will be crushed to death by a vending machine or that I'll become a movie star. Yep, you read that correctly ... it's more likely I will die whilst trying to purchase a snack from a huge metal box than it is that I will ever win the lottery. The lesson in this revelation is twofold: 1) I wish I had all the dollars back that I wasted on lottery tickets, and 2) I don't buy lottery tickets now ... unless, of course, the jackpot goes above $250 million.

I've been thinking a lot lately about chance, not games of chance, mind you, but the role that chance does or doesn't play in life. Some folks say that everything happens by chance ... that life is much like a toss of the dice. Those "chance" folks believe there's no purpose or design, no rhyme or reason to the events and circumstances that come our way in life. Then there are people who believe that we determine our own destiny ... that we choose our own paths and what to allow into or eliminate from our self-designed reality. And then there are those who believe that everything ... every single thing ... is part of a divinely orchestrated plan and path that God set into motion before we were born. What do I believe? Well ... I think perhaps I've believed all three at different times in my life. There have been times when I believed certain situations or opportunities or events were nothing more than random happenings. There have been times when I truly thought I could chart my own course and make my own way, directed only by the parameters of my own desires and wants. There have been times when ... like now, for example ... times when I simply cannot deny that there is a much greater force at work than mere chance or my own feeble attempts to map out the direction of my life. 

Over the last year, I've been forced to acknowledge in ways I never have before that God has a reason for my life. I'm not talking about His plan or purpose for me ... I'm talking about His reason for keeping me alive ... His reason for intervening that morning last year when I was minutes away from ending my life ... His reason for me being where I am at this very moment in time ... His reason for my life. I said I've been forced to acknowledge that He has a reason ... I didn't say that I know or understand what that reason is, and I'm not sure that I ever will. But I do know this ... I know that too many things have happened since I broke down and told the truth about who I really am to be purely random chance. Too many events, too many occurrences, too many situations to be accidents or coincidences or chance ... too many things that scream to me that He has a reason for my life.

Truthfully? I get rather overwhelmed when I think about it ... when I think about the possibility that everything that's taken place in my life up to this point has all been God preparing me for what He wants me to do right now ... in this moment ... for this time. So many things that seemed so random ... so out of the blue ... so unexpected at the time they took place are beginning to make more sense to me now. I think maybe ... just maybe ... He had a reason for my life then and maybe ... just maybe ... He has a reason for it today as well. Not all that long ago, all I wanted was to be done with living. Not all that long ago, all I saw was darkness. Not all that long ago, all I felt was shame and guilt. Not all that long ago, all I heard was judgment and condemnation.

Not all that long ago, something happened that changed my life forever. Random? Not a chance, friends ... not a chance at all.

(And remember ... if you never read another post ... read tomorrow's.)