Happy Birthday, Elizabeth

When my kiddos and I used to travel to Colorado on vacation, we had to drive through a tunnel before we could reach our destination ... a dark tunnel that I always feared would trap us inside and cause us to never see the light of day again. Come on now ... you know the fear of getting stuck in some freaky Twilight Zone kind of tunnel is a perfectly rational and logical fear ... just like being afraid of airplanes, thunderstorms and grass are perfectly rational and logical fears as well. I always pretended to be brave in front of my children when I drove through the Colorado mountain tunnel, but if the truth be told I was really scared to death ... yep, I acted brave on the outside, but on the inside I was terrified that the darkness of the tunnel would surely consume us. Despite my fear that we would never make it to the end of the tunnel ... despite my fear that we would never travel through the darkness to the light ... despite my fear that the mountain would cave in on top of us ... despite all of my fears, we always made it through the tunnel every single time. Though the tunnel was dark ... though the tunnel was long ... though the tunnel was overwhelming ... we always made it through to the other side every single time.

This has been one of those weeks when I feel as if I'm trapped in a never-ending tunnel ... and before you ask, I don't know why. Some weeks are just harder than others, and that's true for everyone ... it doesn't matter whether you're healthy or sick, short or tall, rich or poor, married or single, straight or gay, skinny or chunky ... some weeks, you just feel like you're in a long, dark tunnel that seems to go on forever. I've learned a few things over the last couple of years about tunnels, though, not the least of which is that every one I've ever been in eventually leads me to something pretty awesome on the other side ... as long as I keep going ... as long as I don't stop ... as long as I believe that the light is just ahead.

I received an email this evening from Elizabeth. Remember her? She was the 13-year-old girl who wrote in after we posted the Ears Wide Open? video. I will forever remember the words of her first note ... "I'm 13 years old and all I want to do is die because I'm not normal like my friends. I have a gun and I have bullets and all I want to do is die." I will forever remember the sadness that swept through me and the tears that poured from my eyes when I read her words. But I will also forever remember the joy that flooded my soul and the smile that spread across my face when Elizabeth's mother wrote a few weeks later to let me know that Elizabeth was improving with every passing day. Elizabeth ... I've thought so very often about Elizabeth ... so very, very often. I don't think it was random coincidence that she was one of the first to write to me after our video was posted ... I don't think it was random coincidence at all.

When I was thinking about tonight's post, I considered posting the entire text from Elizabeth's message to me this evening but then I decided not to do so for several reasons. But I do want to close with a few lines from her note (with her and her mother's permission, by the way). And I want to send a special happy birthday wish to you, sweet Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing your journey with me and for reminding me to keep believing ... to always keep believing that the light is just ahead. Happy 14th birthday to you, Elizabeth ... I'm so very glad you're here.

"Me and Mom thought it would be good for me to write you today because its my 14^th birthday today. Now you know why today is a special day to me because when I was 13 I just wanted to die before my uncle sent me your ears opened up  video and I watched it. When I watched it and read the cards you were turning all of a sudden I thought if it could get better for you then maybe it could for me to and it did. Today I am 14 and I didn’t think I would be alive but I am. I have been bullyied for a long time because I’m kind of fat and not very pretty and that’s why I wanted to die because it hurt so much when the other kids would bully me and call me names.

Terrie thank you for helping me to know that it gets better and I’m glad to be having my birthday today."