House Rules

For those of you who are keeping track, my second granddaughter is due to arrive any day now. Well, technically her official due date is July 24, but all of us who are parents know that babies are born when babies are ready to be born ... dates really mean very little to them when they decide it's time to make their entrance into the world. When my daughter-in-law called Monday to let me know the results of her sonogram, she said, "There's a chubby, squished little girl in there!" When I asked what my granddaughter C.J. thinks about the baby and if she's asking a lot of questions about her new sibling's upcoming arrival, Becca said, "She has pretend conversations with her ... she likes to tell her about the house rules a lot. Guess she wants to make sure her baby sister knows what's what before she gets here." I closed my eyes and pictured my little Boo in her room with her dolls and stuffed animals saying, "OK, baby sister, et's talk about da house rules and you need a be a good wistener." Gosh ... I miss that kiddo so, so, so much.

As Becca talked about the various house rules that C.J. is "play telling" her soon-to-arrive baby sister, I was struck by the overwhelming recognition that the rules according to my sweet granddaughter are a great reminder of what should be some of the very basic rules of my own house. Not my little house with the Goldilocks deck that sits upon a corner lot in Kansas rules, but my house of life rules ... C.J.'s house rules translate so very well into what should be my rules for how I live each day.

Like going to bed on time ... 

When I'm exhausted physically, it makes it a heck of a lot shorter walk to emotional and mental exhaustion as well. Problems or tasks that seem impossible to overcome or accomplish are multiplied by a billion when I'm tired. I've gotten into the bad habit of staying up too late ... I'm not sure why, but my "aloneness" seems to rise to a whole new level when it's time to go to bed ... maybe because that's when the stillness of my house seems super extra still and the quietness becomes deafening. I need to go to bed on time ... I need to rest my body, my mind and my spirit. 

Like being a good listener ... 

Being a good listener means something different to me than to my granddaughter ... for C.J., being a good listener is more about following instructions while for me, it's more about following my heart. It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and fail to take the time to listen when someone needs to talk. I need to listen more to the sadness in people's eyes or the droop of their shoulders or even their silence ... because being a good listener means so much more than listening to the words people say. Being a good listener means paying extra close attention to all the unspoken words ... because more often than not, those are the words that matter most of all. 

Like not kicking dogs or biting people ...

This rule is the one that really, really, really struck me ... in a big, huge, gigantically enormous way. I know I don't ever physically kick my dogs .. gosh, I would never do that ... but this rule made me think about the times I tell my dogs to get back or quit licking or get down or move over or stop pawing me. It made me think about how the harshness or impatience in my voice probably makes my sweet hounds feel as though they've been kicked in the gut. And while I've never bitten anyone with my teeth, I've certainly chewed plenty of people up with my words of criticism or anger or bitterness.

I could go on and on with my list of C.J.'s deeply meaningful house rules ... maybe I'll pen a House Rules, Part 2 post one of these days. Here's the thing about rules ... whether they are for toddlers like C.J. or Ghees like me, rules are ultimately about respect. A few days ago, someone called me out for being disrespectful toward someone for whom I actually have the utmost respect ... and it made me stop in my tracks and think long and hard about a lot of stuff. About who I am ... about who other people think I am ... about who I want to be.

It seems fitting to end this post with one more house rule from my way wiser than me granddaughter ... when I do something wrong, say I'm sorry. I'm sorry ... and if you give me another chance (though I totally don't deserve it), I promise I will never be disrespectful again ... never, never ever again.

P.S. Looks like her baby sister may be getting ready to join C.J. before long ... Becca had lots of contractions last night.