Bootstraps and Other Myths

When I was in my late teens, I went through a cowboy boot phase ... OK, it started before my teen years, and I still like cowboy boots, so perhaps it was more than just a phase. I don't wear them anymore (for those of you who are trying to picture this gray-haired gal in a pair), mainly because I know that certain people would make fun of me. Someday, when I pack up my hounds and run away to some little town where no one knows me, I think I'll wear cowboy boots. I'm thinking Montana ... I'm pretty sure cowboy boots are required footwear there.

For as long as I can remember, I've heard the saying, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps." And I thought I knew what the phrase meant ... when you find yourself in a tough spot, grab onto your shoelaces and pull yourself out of it. And that is partly true ... the phrase dates back to the early 1920s, and it does refer to the imagined feat of lifting oneself off the ground by pulling on one's bootstraps (or shoelaces). The key word in that definition being "imagined" ... it's an impossible task to pull yourself off the ground by your shoelaces .. did you get that? Impossible task. And yet, when someone is in the midst of something hard in life ... loss of a job, fractured relationships, illness ... so often the person is encouraged to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and fix things ... to do what could very well be an impossible task.

I will be the first to admit that I have never understood how a normally happy, positive person could slide down the slope of depression. And I will also admit that I've not demonstrated the love and compassion that I should have to those who were suffering from an illness that most of us quite honestly don't understand. As much as it sears my heart to admit it, I've said the very words to others that now cut me to the core when they are said to me ... "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Terrie. Just make up your mind, and pull yourself up." Hmmm ... pull myself up ... hmmm ... make up my mind ... it seems to me that my mind may well be the root of the problem ... hmmm indeed.

The truth is that those who are fighting the beast of depression have lots of days when they don't even know if they have bootstraps ... they can't find anything to hang on to, much less pull themselves up by. Many days, it takes every ounce of strength they have just to put their feet on the floor and climb out of bed. Many days, every breath and every step requires all the energy they can muster ... think about that for a minute ... breathing and walking ... such simple parts of life and yet such major endeavors for those with depression. Add in to the overwhelming sadness and depths of despair they find themselves in ... feelings of failure, weak faith, guilt ... yep, telling someone who is drowning in a bottomless narrow well to pull themselves up by their bootstraps ... maybe not such a good thing to say.

I told someone a while ago that I'd give everything I have to be able to flip a switch and be my old self again. But then again, maybe I'm not supposed to ever be that person again ... maybe I'm not. Maybe God is making me into someone new ... sending me through this desert for a reason ... maybe He's the One who will do any bootstrap pulling that needs to be done. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that He's the only One who can pull me up ... and I'm definitely sure that He is the God of impossible tasks.