Candle in the Wind

In my high school and college years, I had three favorite singers ... John Denver, Barbra Streisand and Elton John. Sometimes I wonder how many hours I spent listening to those artists' tunes, switching from one to another depending on my state of mind or mood at the time. I knew every word to each of their songs, and I would sing along as I lay in my bed in my room (listening to a record on a turntable record player), as I drove to and from work or school in my car (listening to a tape on an 8-track player), as I soaked up the sun by the side of the pool (listening to a tape on a portable cassette player) ... for my younger readers, iPods had not even been thought of back then. It was on a trip to Colorado with my children one year that I came to understand that some things in life are timeless and span many generations. You see, my son Matt developed a huge affinity for the music of Elton ... the entire drive out to Colorado, the whole week we spent in the condo, and the drive back home, Matt insisted that we listen to Elton ... over and over and over again. And I must admit, my kiddos were quite surprised that I remembered all the words to Elton John's songs ... every single word to every single song. A few years later, both Brad and Meghann became enamored with Elton's music as well, and it always brought a sentimental feeling to me when I would hear his tunes wafting through the house.

I'm not sure why, but I've felt drawn to Elton's music again over the last couple of weeks, perhaps because so many of the songs are soulful in their sound and have such depth in their lyrics ... or perhaps it's because listening to his music reminds me of years gone by ... the years of my own youth and those of my children as well. Perhaps it's as simple as connection ... I sent my son Matt a text a few days ago and said, "I'm walking and listening to Elton," and his reply was, "I love Elton." I don't know that I could choose a favorite Elton song ... there are so many that I like, so many that have spoken to me at different times for different reasons. But there was one that not only touched me, it moved millions of people around the world when Elton changed the lyrics a bit and sang it at Princess Diana's funeral ... Candle in the Wind. And over the last week, the song has spoken to me again ... about light ... about life ... about time.

Last night, I sat on my deck and lit a candle. I watched the flame flicker and twist as the wind whipped through the slats of my deck, threatening to snuff out the burning yellow fire. I watched the flame dim and almost go out and then miraculously sputter back to life. I felt the cold of the wind around my neck as I shivered in the chair. I felt the warmth of the flame as I passed my hand near the small source of heat. I'm not sure how long I sat there gazing at the candle, wondering when it would be overcome by the cold winter wind. I am sure, however, that when it finally did succumb to the force that surrounded it, emotion swept through me and tears filled my eyes as I watched the flame expire. I lit the candle several more times, and as long as I kept my hands cupped around it, it would burn. When I would remove my hands, the tiny flame would struggle to survive the wind, only to eventually give up and be overtaken by its strength. As I sat there relighting the candle, it struck me how often there are times in life when we are like candles in the wind ... needing help to keep our flames burning, struggling to survive the winds that whip through our hearts and souls, longing for a shield to keep us from giving up. Flames, wind, candles ... light ... life ... time.

"And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did."