Loose Ends

Several years ago, I had the tremendous blessing of working with an incredibly gifted artist to create a line of poetry/art prints that we marketed to gift shops across the country. It was a ton of fun working with Becky, and each time we developed a new print, I was always in awe of her amazing talent. She would take my words and paint the perfect picture to accompany them ... I've often said that her paintings could tell the story by themselves with no need for words from me. Early on in our venture together, I discovered that Becky had a particular personal touch that she included in each of her paintings. Sometimes I would have to search to find her trademark, but it was always there ... a loose string, a frayed edge, an untied shoelace. When I questioned her about her reason for placing one in each painting, Becky said they were reminders to her to always make sure she tied up the loose ends in her life ... to not leave things hanging should something happen to her. Becky lost her only sister to a brain tumor when she was younger, and I've often thought that event is what sparked her desire to always keep her life as tidy as she could.

People say that creative types ... artists, writers, musicians, dancers ... people say those types of people are often somewhat lackadaisical when it comes to being organized or detailed about the day-to-day, humdrum tasks of life. They tend to be more focused on creating than cleaning, on dreaming than designating, on imagining than indexing. I see those tendencies every day in the creative folks I work with, and I know that I possess them as well ... I think the brains of artsy, creative people are just wired that way. I've never worried or thought much about making sure everything in my life was all pulled together or that I had my loose ends all tied up. I suppose I've always been a dreamer of sorts ... always in search of the perfect story, the most well put together words, the best way to turn a phrase.

There's been a shift in my perspective, however, over the last months concerning the whole loose ends thing. I find myself thinking more about them, the loose ends in my life, and I find that I now have a strong desire to tie up as many of them as I can. Perhaps part of that newfound urgency to cross all my t's, dot all my i's, and tie all my shoes is because I've got a birthday coming after Christmas ... a birthday that for some reason has me rattled and feeling old. And perhaps I am just getting old and that's why I want to make sure I tie up all my loose ends. Whatever the reason, I've made a lot of progress in the last month in ridding myself of many of the fraying edges that were hanging around me, and I must say, there's a certain sense of calm and peace that accompanies loose end tying for sure.

Tonight at Awana, a little boy asked me to tie his shoe. As I knelt down to tie his laces, a thought struck me in a big way ... I don't need to be concerned with the loose ends of my physical life ... those aren't the ones that matter ... the loose ends that matter are the ones in my heart ... I need to be sure that I have no loose ends with my Lord ... all the other loose ends pale in comparison. So tonight ... tonight as I sit on my couch typing this post, I'm also searching my heart for the loose strings, the frayed edges, the untied shoelaces that remain there ... hidden away, tucked deep within. And I'm praying ... Lord, please help me find them, those loose ends ... help me to find them and allow You in Your grace and mercy to tie them up for me ... to tie them up forever and ever ... no more loose ends, Father, no more loose ends.