Learning Curve

I'm not a scientist. I'm not a veterinarian. So when the advertising agency I worked for won a large animal health account a couple of years ago, I faced a gigantic learning curve when it came to editing their work that was filled with a plethora of complicated, technical terminology. I spent countless hours at home reading veterinary journals and researching methods to learn how best to approach my editing tasks in what was an all-new field for me. There were many days when I would drive home in tears, worrying that I would never be able to "get it," that I was too old to remember all the terms and the correct spelling of them, that I wasn't smart enough to understand the appropriate context for all the different usages, that I would lose my job if I continued to make mistakes on the mountain of materials that came across my desk each day for our very important client. Eventually, though, I began to recognize that I had to look up fewer terms each day and that I was beginning to be able to spot incorrect referencing or product names. My learning curve took a long time, but thankfully my employer thought I was worth waiting for ... that I was worth taking a chance on giving me the extra time I needed.

When a year draws to a close, I think many of us reflect back on the days and months within it and evaluate ... our jobs, our emotions, our relationships, our health. We look back and think about what we've learned, where we've been, how much we've accomplished ... we look back and think about what we should have learned, where we should have gone, how much we should have accomplished. I think I can say with complete honesty that 2011 has been one of the toughest years, if not the toughest, I've yet to journey through in my 52 years of life. A year that has left me with a significant amount of fear and trepidation concerning the new year soon to arrive. Last night as I lay in my bed waiting for the meds to kick in and make me sleep, I found myself making lists in my head, and amazingly, I remember some of the items on those lists this morning ... some of which I'd like to share with you in this post.

I've learned a few things over the years, some big things and some not so much. I've learned that you can never catch a fish if you don't put bait on the hook. I've learned that it's important to take lots of pictures of your family and friends. I've learned that prayer really can change things. I've learned that nothing tastes quite as wonderful as a piece of warm cherry pie with vanilla ice cream on top. I've learned that a smile and a hug can work miracles for someone's wounded heart. I've learned that a piece of potato can remove a broken light bulb from a socket. I've learned that all dogs love cheese. I've learned that a warm blanket on a cold night is like a gift from heaven. I've learned that sometimes holding someone's hand is the most important thing I could ever do for them. I've learned that it's important to brush your teeth and floss. I've learned that the Bible really is the Word of God. I've learned that driving a Jeep Wrangler with the top down on a warm summer evening is one of the purest pleasures in life. I've learned that little kids are the most honest and loving beings God ever created. I've learned that dishwashers and microwaves are wonderful inventions. I've learned that what matters most of all in this life is love ... the love of my God for me and my love for Him ... the love I have for others and the love they give to me.

The more I thought about what I've learned in my life, the more I began to think about the things I haven't learned ... things I haven't learned, but certainly should have. I haven't learned to say I'm sorry quickly and sincerely when I've wronged or hurt another. I haven't learned to not be afraid to fly. I haven't learned to hire a professional to do home repair. I haven't learned how to change a flat tire. I haven't learned not to worry so much about what others think of me or expect from me or say about me. I haven't learned to fly fish. I haven't learned the true depth of God's sacrifice for me. I haven't learned how to make cookies from scratch. I haven't learned to say "I love you" as often as I should. I haven't learned to admit when I'm weak or sick or afraid or lonely. I haven't learned to trust God in all circumstances at all times. I haven't learned not to get sick on an airplane. I haven't learned that paint always freezes if I leave it in my garage in the winter. I haven't learned to ask for help when I can't do it on my own.

Now that I think about it, I'm sure there are a lot of things I could add to both of those lists ... my learned vs. unlearned ramblings. And perhaps that is the truest lesson of the year drawing to a close ... some days I learn, and some days I don't. Some years are filled with all the good things that life has to offer, and some years bring days that are long and nights that are frighteningly dark. But through it all ... light or darkness, good or bad, easy or hard ... through it all, God is watching ... He's watching and waiting and forgiving and loving and understanding ... through all the time it takes me to learn ... God is always there.