The Noise of Wings

It's a cold, gray, rainy day here in Kansas City, one of those days that makes me want to snuggle under the covers with my hounds and sleep until tomorrow (and I did sleep for four hours this afternoon). Because it was so cold this week and it's so dark when I get home from work, I opted for walking on the treadmill in the evenings rather than outside. Me walking on the treadmill for the last five nights, however, means that Ollie the wiener dog hasn't gotten to go for a long walk as we normally do. Ollie not getting to go for a walk for five days means that I had a rabid, hyperactive wiener dog on my hands this morning when I woke up. So when the rain stopped for a few minutes mid-morning, I quickly threw on several layers of clothing, dressed Oliver in his sweater and down jacket, and we took off for the trail to try and squeeze in a walk before the rain started again. It was a cold and damp jaunt, intensified by the wind that sent chills through both me and my little dog as we scurried down the wet, leaf-strewn path.

So many times I marvel at all the wonders of nature I've encountered as I've walked along my beloved trail over the last couple of years, not to mention all the lessons that God has taught me through those outdoor encounters. Ducks and birds and hawks and owls and fish and turtles and beavers and foxes and deer ... and ... shiver ... even a snake or two. The trail was deserted this morning, probably because Ollie and I were the only creatures crazy enough to be out on such a dreary day. I hadn't taken my iPod because I was afraid that it might begin to rain again, and I wasn't really in the mood for an electrical shock in my ears today. It was as we were almost home that I heard it ... then I looked up and saw it ... a large flock of birds flying overhead ... and as they flew, the sound of their wings flapping filled the air all around me and Ollie in a marvelous symphony of winged noise. Wings, wings, and more wings flapped and flew in unison as the flock made its way across the sky above me. As I stood there staring skyward, I couldn't help but wonder if the wings of angels would sound like those of the birds ... the wings of angels ... the noise of heavenly wings.

I never really thought much about angels (though I do remember wearing an angel costume and reading the Christmas story in a play at church when I was a little kid) until I read the book This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. Quite honestly, that book scared the living daylights out of me ... even though the good angels won over the bad angels, it terrified me at the time to think of warring angels with swords and stuff tussling all around me. But as I held my dad's hand in the moments before he passed away, I began to` think differently about angels. Not that when Daddy died he became an angel (humans don't become angels when they die), but there was definitely something going on in his room in the minutes before he took his last breath. Daddy opened his eyes for the first time in many months, and he smiled ... my Daddy who had not smiled in years had the most beautiful smile on his face. As my sister and I stood on each side of his bed in Daddy's final moments, all the hairs on our arms stood up ... much like when you rub a balloon across your skin to create static electricity. Within seconds of Daddy's passing, that electrical charge ... which I fully believe was the presence of angels sent to escort my dad from this life to the next ... was gone. And I have wondered countless times if Daddy's final smile was because of the beauty of the angels in his room, and today I've wondered if Daddy heard the noise of their wings ... the noise of heavenly wings.

Many people have said to me, both while he was alive and after he died, that they thought my little J.R. wasn't just a dog. In fact, many of them went so far as to say they thought he was an angel disguised in dog fur. I don't know about the theology of that, but I do believe that God can use any part of His creation in any manner that He chooses. And I also believe with all my heart that God did indeed send J.R. to rescue me ... and I know that there were countless times when he was with me that I felt J.R. was protecting me, watching over me, teaching me. Just like I never thought much about angels before, I never really contemplated whether there were animals in heaven ... but I sure think about it now. I miss my little pal every single day. I love Ollie and Julie to pieces, but there was something extra special about my little fat buddy and we had a bond that was like none other. And I hope with everything in my being that J.R. will be there when I get to heaven ... that he will be there waddling, wagging, watching and waiting for me. And if he was indeed an angel in disguise, I can't wait to see his wings ... to hear the noise of his heavenly wings.

As I was cooking today, I was listening to some Southern gospel music and a song called Lord, Send Your Angels began to play in my ear. I stood in my kitchen as the tears began to flow and I thought about the birds from this morning, my dad and little J.R. Angels ... the noise of heavenly wings ... I could use an angel or two, Lord ... I sure could.

"When I'm alone and the light slowly fades
Cold with the night closing in
I know the shadow of almighty wings
Lord won't you send them again.

Lord send your angels to watch over me
I'm so afraid of the dark
Lord send your angels to watch over me
Wrap me in sheltering arms
Shield me, keep me
Hold me safe in your arms
Lord send your angels to watch over me
Wrap me in sheltering arms.

Sometimes the child inside of me cries
With fears of the dangers unknown
And questions with answers I can't seem to find
Then You send your angels to me.

Lord send your angels to watch over me
I'm so afraid of the dark
Lord send your angels to watch over me
Wrap me in sheltering arms
Shield me, keep me
Hold me safe in your arms
Lord send your angels to watch over me
Wrap me in sheltering arms."