Son Walking Revisited

Back in June of 2010, I wrote a post for this blog titled "Son Walking." In that post, I talked about an evening when Matt and I went for a walk ... a walk that was special to me for many reasons. You can go back and read the post if you'd like ... you'll find it in the archived posts. This afternoon, I went for another walk with my son, and ... well, let me just tell you about it.

Matt went to work this morning for the first time all week. He had planned to work Wednesday and Thursday, but he got sick on Tuesday afternoon and ended up being transported by ambulance to the hospital late that night. Then Becca got sick, too, and Matt still wasn't feeling great ... you get the picture ... Matt stayed home from work until today. He decided he was only going to work a half day, so Becca, Brad, C.J. and I walked over to his office so that he could show Brad and I where he worked and then we could all have lunch together. Matt was happy to see us when we arrived, and I could tell that he was excited for Brad and I to see his office and to give us a tour of the campus. It's quite a long walk from Matt and Becca's house to the university, and it was snowing and pretty cold today so after lunch and a quick stop at the student bookstore, we began the walk back home.

Brad was pushing C.J. in her stroller, and he and Becca were walking at a faster pace than Matt and I so they quickly pulled ahead, leaving Matt and I to walk together. Matt pointed to various buildings and landmarks as we made our way through the campus, and I could hear the happiness in his voice as he talked about his job and the people with whom he works. He told me about a paper he just submitted to the most prestigious journal in his field, and he talked about some of the projects on which he's currently working. And though it was cold outside, and the snow was falling around us, my heart was abundantly warm as I listened to my son ... as I walked with my son ... as I loved my son.

I've thought all afternoon and evening about my walk with Matt today, and about how hard it will be tomorrow to say goodbye to him. I've thought about how sick Matt was, how low his blood pressure dropped and how frightened we all were. I've noticed something about Matt during my visit ... there is something different in his eyes when he looks at me ... a new understanding perhaps is the best way to describe it. You see, Matt is a parent himself now ... now he fully understands the love a parent feels for their child. My son loves me now with not only a heart of love from a son for his mother, but with a heart of love from a father for his daughter ... now Matt fully understands the love of a parent for a child.

Remember in my last post when I talked about being grateful that I wasn't all done last year? I walked with my son in the snow today ... today, I walked with my son.