One Life to Lose

Originally, I had planned to write a different post this evening ... a post about ducks. But something happened this evening that made me know I couldn't write about ducks. But I will write about ducks soon, promise I will.

When I was a teenager, I had a big disagreement with one of my closest friends. A disagreement so big that it ended our friendship and caused my heart to hurt for a long, long time. I remember crying about it to my dad, and I've never forgotten what he said to me that night.

"Nothing wounds the heart like them fiery arrows shot from the bows of people you love and that you believe love you back. Arrows from strangers may tear up your flesh and even break your bones, but those will mend pretty quick. It's them arrows from the ones closest to a person that can wreak havoc on a man's heart and soul and leave the ugliest scars. Remember that, Sam, and treat the people you love with kindness and gentleness. Remember that words can't be taken back once they leave your mouth, so be careful the words you speak."

My dad was a very smart man, friends ... a very smart man indeed. And I believe with all my heart that if he were alive today, he would wrap me in his arms and tell me he loves me ... I believe Daddy would tell me he always loved me and that he would never stop loving me. I think he would remind me that I only have one life to live and one life to lose. And I hope ... I hope ... I hope that maybe, just maybe, Daddy would tell me he's proud to be my dad.

I got hit tonight by some of those arrows Daddy talked about all those years ago ... he was right ... Daddy was so very right in what he said about how deep the wounds can be from those who once loved and cared for me. I pray that God forgives me for the arrows I've sent flying toward others over the years ... arrows of self-righteousness ... arrows of condemnation ... arrows of betrayal ... arrows of judgment ... arrows of condescension ... arrows of hate shrouded and veiled in the name of God. I pray that He forgives me ... one life to lose ... one chance to find ... a newer, better me ... the old one left behind. 

One Life to Lose
 
"I'm torn again between my pride, my old friend 
And who you've called me to be 
I've sworn again to lay it down, to bring an end 
To this life lived for me
 
For I've one life to lose, one chance to find 
A newer, better me, the old one left behind 
For there's one Lord who leads, though steep the cost 
I have learned when I am lost, it's there that I am found
 
I am found as your daughter, as your child 
As one purchased by Your blood 
And though there's nothing I can add to such a perfect sacrifice 
How can I offer you less than all my life?
  
For I've one life to lose, one chance to find 
A newer, better me, the old one left behind 
For there's one Lord who leads, how steep the cost 
I have learned when I am lost, it's there that I am found 
It's there that I am found
 
For I've one life to lose, one chance to find 
A newer, better me, the old one left behind 
For there's one Lord who leads, how steep the cost 
I have learned when I am lost 
I have learned when I am lost, it's there that I am found 
It's there that I am found" --- Laura Story