Every once in a while ... and those once in a whiles are fewer and farther between, trust me ... but every once in a while, I have a really good idea. I'm not talking about the good ideas I've had like unplugging my dryer while water was pouring into the socket and I was standing barefoot in an inch of water on the concrete floor or taking my bed off the frame at 3:00 a.m. so J.R. wouldn't get hurt if he jumped out of bed in the night. I'm talking about seriously good ideas like bungeeing my dogs' kennels to the water pipes in the basement when the tornado sirens begin to sound or getting my neighbor boys to pee around the fence in my back yard to keep the rabbits out ... don't judge me ... Ollie hasn't killed a rabbit in two weeks. When one of those awesomely, amazingly, incredibly fantastic ideas pops into my head, I quite often say out loud, "Ah-ha ... I've got it! That's a brilliant idea!" You've had them, too, I'm sure ... your own ah-ha moments when you realize you've either thought of something super intelligent or you've come to understand that you're witnessing something truly spectacular.
My morning was much better today than it was yesterday ... so much better that I wore my blue and burgundy argyle suspenders. Friday is the day I absolutely have to get to work on time, because every Friday, we have a meeting in the main conference room for the whole agency. The meetings have always been generally fun and lighthearted, which is just another reason why I love my job so much. Over the last several weeks, Seth has been running the meetings and he's been doing something different ... something that has been exceptionally fun. Each week, he asks for someone to share something cool that happened to them during the week ... seven cool things each week from seven people ... remember when I wrote about our company's seven tenants? Yep, pretty darn cool all the way around ... seven tenants, seven cool things, seven people. I was surprised when Seth announced in the meeting this morning that I did something cool this week and asked me to share about speaking at the conference. As I walked back to my desk, emotion swept through me as I realized all over again how much we are a family at work ... we care about each other ... if I haven't learned anything over the last several months, I've learned that in a gigantic way.
Later in the morning, my supervisor arrived from Wichita to meet with the company who installed our new security system and make sure Hilary, Louis and I were all trained and well-versed on how to manage it. Donna has been my supervisor ever since I came to work for the company almost 11 years ago, and I've written about her many times over the years. She's a fantastic supervisor, but so much more than that, she's one of my dearest friends. As she sat in the chair next to my desk and talked about her grandchildren before she left this afternoon, I struggled not to let her see the emotion that welled up within me ... Donna is retiring in August, and the thought of her not being in our office periodically is more than difficult for me. I've been trying to write a post dedicated to Donna for several weeks, but I'm having a hard time putting my feelings into words when it comes to her ... it's hard to do justice to what she means to me with mere words, it truly is. When she hugged me as she said goodbye, I realized all over again how much Donna is like a sister to me ... family ... we care about each other ... if I haven't learned anything over the last 10+ years, I've learned that in a gigantic way.
One of the toughest things for me in my struggle with depression over the last couple of years has been that for a long, long, long time, I didn't laugh much. That's not really true ... for a long, long, long time, I didn't laugh at all. The truth is for a long, long, long time, I had trouble finding a smile ... forget laughing, I could barely smile. As Hilary and I walked toward the door to leave this evening, I made a comment to our friend Ali who was still at her desk working ... a comment that caused Hilary to make another comment which led to a comment from Ali which led to me to say ... well, never mind ... by the time we said goodbye, we were all cracking up, and I've laughed on and off about our little exchange all evening. As I walked with Ollie this evening, I couldn't help but think about how different I am from Ali and Hil. They are tall and thin ... they have young children ... they know a ton about fashion ... they are girly ... they like purses and sparkles and sequins ... they are Midwesterners ... they are quite a few years younger than me. I'm short ... my kids are adults ... I ask Hil and Ali what I should wear (or beg them to go shopping with me) ... I've never been girly a day in my life ... seriously, I carry a backpack and wouldn't be caught dead in shiny crap ... I'm Southern through and through ... I'm more than half a century old. And yet ... I am blessed to count Ali and Hilary among my very closest and dearest friends even though we are so very different ... no, they are more than friends to me, they are family ... we care about each other ... if I haven't learned anything over the last year, I've learned that in a gigantic way.
As I was thinking about this post tonight, I couldn't help but think about the ah-ha moments I had today ... the many ah-ha moments I've had since last fall. Moments when I say, "Ah-ha ... now I get it." As I clicked off of Skype tonight after talking with Matt and C.J., I realized what all the ah-ha moments I had today were about ... they were about love. Love that is unconditional ... love that cheers me on ... love that doesn't quit ... love that rejoices with me when I conquer my fear ... love that sheds tears for me when I stumble and fall ... love that is steadfast ... love that believes in me ... love that challenges me ... love that is carried in the laughter of my little C.J. or the smiles of my children ... love that loves and loves and loves again and again and again ... love that ties us all together ... ah-ha ... now I get it, God, now I get it.
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." --- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
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