I Want It

This may surprise some of you ... or most of you ... but I was rather spoiled as a kid. Since my closest sibling in age was 15 years older than me, I was the baby of the family in the truest sense of the word. By the time I came along, Mom and Dad both had jobs and made decent money ... they weren't rich by any means, and they both had blue-collar jobs, but they made enough money that they had some extra to spend. They each had certain things they liked to spend money on ... Mom loved shoes, and Daddy loved suits ... but they both loved spending money on me. And within reason, all I had to do was say, "I want it," especially to Daddy, and I pretty much got whatever was the item of my wanting at the time. Now that I think about it, I never got a horse though. Maybe I'll have to mention that to Daddy in heaven one day ... hmmm ... my guess is if I make it to heaven and if we actually do recognize one another there, I won't care one little bit about not getting a horse when I was young. I'm pretty sure I'll be much more focused on much bigger and better things.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago about the multitude of questions and comments I've received over the last few months, and though those questions and comments often sting, there is one very good thing that has come from them. They have made me think deeply about a lot of things and search my soul about what I believe, what I need, what I want. They've made me think about big things ... like God's love for all people and how Jesus specifically told us that we are to love as He loves ("A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34) ... like whether or not He really does have a purpose in keeping me around ("'For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11). They've made me consider that maybe, just maybe, there's a reason I've been in the desert when it comes to my faith ... maybe I've been in the desert so that I learn to thirst only for Him ("Jesus answered and said to her, 'Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.'" John 4:13-15).

A friend said something to me today that has given me pause to rethink some of those recent questions and to search my soul again about what I believe, what I need, what I want. My friend said a lot of things today, but it was what she said about making something my own goal rather than the goal of someone else that struck a chord deep within me. "Until it's yours, it won't happen, you know." Until it's mine ... until I make it something I believe in ... something I need ... something I want, I'll never achieve it. As I drove home this evening, my friend's words echoed in my brain and resonated in my heart ... "If you really want it, it will be easier. SO WANT IT, DARN IT!" And yes, she was yelling ... she was yelling because she wanted me to hear what she was saying, to really get it. And I do get it, I think. A goal set before me by someone else becomes nothing more than a task for me to complete. For it to become something of great value to me, something I strive to attain, I must want it ... I must want it, and then it will be so much easier to do whatever is required of me in order to reach my goal. Think about it, friends, there's a big, humongous, gigantic lesson in my friend's words ... a lesson that's about way more than making one thing my own goal. It's a lesson about faith, about strength, about courage, about determination, about believing in God and believing in myself.

"Until it's yours, it won't happen, you know. If you really want it, it will be easier. SO WANT IT, DARN IT!"