So ... About That Whole Kindness Thing ...

I'm warning you right up front that this post is one that should carry with it one of my semi-famous disclaimers: This post is going to make some of you angry and some of you abundantly happy. Some of you will say it's about time I spoke up, and some of you will say I should go crawl under a rock and die. Oh, wait ... some of you have spoken those very statements to me already. So, if you want to keep reading, read on, and if you don't, then click off the page and go have a Starbuck's frappucino or something equally as sugary. Someone should be eating or drinking sugar after all, and it's sure not going to be me. One more thing before I say what I feel I need to say tonight ... I have never wanted this blog to be a platform for any cause, any person or any thing. The reason I started writing it was because the guy who did the website for my speaking ministry told me I needed to have a blog attached to it. But as those of you who read each day know, the blog became way more than that to me, especially throughout the last three or so years. It became a form of therapy for me, a place to share my thoughts and musings, many of which were tied in with my faith in God and my love for my children, my family and my friends. And for some reason that I will never understand, many of you connect with my meager words and relate to the ups and downs of my journey through life. I say those things to say this ... from time to time, I will feel the need to address certain issues or write about difficult things, and just because I feel led to do that, it doesn't make me militant or divisive or a bad person or a trouble-maker or any of those. What it does make me is human ... a real live person with feelings and emotions and opinions that may not always be the same as yours. So again I say, if you want to keep reading, read on, and if you don't, go to Starbuck's and have an extra frappucino for me.

So ... remember what I wrote about last night? I wrote about the line Ellen closes her show with ... "Be kind to one another." And today, I received emails and messages from a lot of you ... a whole lot of you, actually ... and some were nice and some weren't. To those of you who were nice and really "got" what I was saying, thank you so very much for your kind and encouraging words. To those of you who weren't nice, I have a couple of things to say. I wrote about Ellen and what she says at the end of her show because I believe we should do what she says and be kind to one another. Period. There was no "hidden agenda" in what I wrote, as some suggested, going so far as to say that by writing about Ellen, I am promoting the "gay lifestyle." And though I said in January that I wasn't going to write about it again, I'm growing rather weary of the multitude of questions I receive each week about my relationship status and the comments about my sexuality. Though I am in no way obligated to respond, I'm going to because I want those who didn't get what I was saying last night to get it tonight. I'm still gay, pretty sure I always have been and always will be, and I am not in a relationship. Period. I wrote what I wrote last night for one reason only ... I think we all need to be kinder to one another, and yes, that absolutely includes me, and I absolutely included myself in what I wrote last night about the ways we are unkind to one another. Key word there: WE ... that means me, too.

Something occurred this evening that caused me to get more than a bit fired up; in fact, that's an understatement. I'm ticked off in a big way. At first, I thought I would spew out all the details of what took place, but then I decided that the best way to close my post tonight is to tell you what I think kindness is and is not. And my hope and prayer (yes, I do still pray for those who say I do not) for each of you is that perhaps after reading tonight, you'll speak a little more gently, you'll love a little more unconditionally, you'll stand a little more firmly behind those who need you most ... my hope and prayer for each of you is that you will be a little kinder to one another. Period. No hidden agenda, no right or wrong, no good or bad, no nothing ... just be kind to one another, just be a little kinder.

Kindness is:

Helping an old lady put her groceries in her car at Walmart.
Listening to someone who desperately needs a listening ear.
Holding hands with a little kid who is frightened. 
Smiling at others when your own heart is wounded and bleeding.
Forgiving though you may not be forgiven in return.
Washing your neighbor's car on a sunny day.
Looking for the best in everyone first.
Rubbing an old dog's tummy as she lays in the sun.
Praying.
Buying Girl Scout cookies and giving them away.
Removing your shoes and placing them on shoeless feet.
Being there for people in good times and bad.
Giving money to those in need.
Volunteering to help those less fortunate.
Reading a book to an elderly gentleman in the retirement home.
Visiting, calling, emailing and texting those who are hurting or sick or sad or distraught or lonely or disabled or ... different. 
Loving the unlovable.
Loving the sinner.
Loving the homeless.
Loving the tired.
Loving the weak.
Loving the rich.
Loving the poor.
Loving ... your ... neighbor.

Kindness is NOT:

Looking down on anyone who's not like you.
Distancing yourself when issues arise.
Making jokes at someone else's expense.
Betraying a confidence.
Judging someone ... judging anyone.
Laughing at another's misfortune.
Spreading rumors or gossiping.
Reaching out to another because someone told you to.
Turning your back on someone in need.
Keeping silent when you should be talking.
Running away from the unlovable.
Running away from the sinner.
Running away from the homeless. 
Running away from the tired.
Running away from the weak.
Running away from the rich.
Running away from the poor.
Running ... away ... from ... your ... neighbor.

So ... about that whole kindness thing ...

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32